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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Consoling Himself With Lies

    | MI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    (An older man comes in, looking perplexed.)

    Me: “Sir, was there something I could help you find?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to get a PS3 but don’t have enough money. How much would I get for my Xbox?”

    Me: “Is it an original Xbox, or an Xbox 360?”

    Customer: “It’s just an Xbox 2.”

    (I show him what the original Xbox and the Xbox 360 looks like.)

    Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s the Xbox 2!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t know what that is, so we cannot accept it on trade.”

    (At this point he is clearly getting frustrated.)

    Customer: “Well, do you take the PS2 or the Wii on trade?”

    Me: “Yes, right now the original PS2 goes for $15 and the newer, slim model goes for $20. The Wii’s currently go for around $70.”

    Customer: “Well good, ’cause you ain’t gettin’ mine!”

    (He snickered to himself and left, convinced he had an Xbox 2.)

    Not A Game To Some People

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (I work at a video game store. Lots of random people wander in, especially people from the nail salon across the hall. One day an old lady walks in.)

    Me: “Could I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any used Josh Groban CDs?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not. You’d want to check the used CD/DVD store up the road for something like that.”

    Customer: *astonished by this revelation* “Then what the h*** is all this s***?!”

    Me: “Umm, video games. This is a game store.”

    Customer: “Video games? What the h*** has the world come to?!”

    (She gave a look of disapproval, and left angry.)

    Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

    Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

    (After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

    Passer By: “Just like sex.”

    (Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

    Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

    Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

    Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

    (We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

    His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

    Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

    Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

    (I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

    Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

    Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

    Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

    (I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

    Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

    Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

    (After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)

    Not The Most Connected Of Families

    | KY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I work at a popular video game store inside of a mall. One evening I greet a boy around the age of 15. Not much time passes before I notice he’s been browsing the XBox Live cards and seems very lost.)

    Me: “Hey, did you have any questions?”

    Boy: “I just got an XBox 360, and my buddy said I need a live membership. What’s that?”

    (I go through the explanation of how XBox Live works, how it gets you free games and everything, etc.)

    Boy: “Okay. But then, how do I get it in my system?”

    Me: “Well, the cards here come with a code. On your 360, you just go into the store while logged in on your account, and there should be an area to redeem the code on the back. That’ll get it attached to your account! It’s really easy.”

    Boy: *seems suspicious* “So then… I guess… they mail it to me?”

    Me: “Oh, no! You just enter the code that comes with the card onto your 360, and it goes on there… I may not be explaining this right, sorry. But there are detailed instructions on the card!”

    Boy: “…so then, after I put it on my system, they mail it to me?!”

    Me: “Ah, nope… It’s all digital.”

    Boy: “But then where do the free games come from?”

    Me: “They’re digital as well! You download them. It’s easy, and it pretty much explains itself as you do it.”

    Boy: “And then if I download them they mail me something?”

    Me: “Oh, nope, you don’t get anything in the mail.”

    Boy: “But then how do I get it?”

    Me: “You… download it?”

    Boy: “But then what will they mail me?”

    Me: “Nothing? Anything you need you download right to your XBox 360. Like, through the Internet.”

    Boy: “Oh. Okay.”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Boy: “So I just enter that code, and then download it?”

    Me: “Yeah!”

    Boy: “Through the mail.”

    Me: “No, nothing comes in the mail; it’s through the Internet.”

    Boy: “But then what do I download through the mail?”

    Me: “… nothing comes through the mail.”

    Boy: “How do you make it come through?”

    Me: “The Internet.”

    Boy: “I can get Internet on my XBox?! I set up the wifi for Netflix, but I didn’t know it got actual Internet.”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s crazy what you can do in 2014.”

    Boy: “Can you explain this to my dad? He knows nothing about this stuff. Hey, dad, come here, this girl figured out that I have Internet on my XBox!”

    (A man, maybe in his 40s, dressed all in camo with hunting boots and looking very scary comes up.)

    Boy: “She just told me how to download things from the Internet for my XBox without mailing them.”

    Man: “I don’t know how your mom will feel about that.”

    (I had to repeat the entire conversation with the boy to his father and basically explain every technological advance related to Internet use. I kept looking for signs they were messing with me, but these people were just… Well… I drank a lot after that shift.)

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