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    Not The Most Connected Of Families

    | KY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Technology

    (I work at a popular video game store inside of a mall. One evening I greet a boy around the age of 15. Not much time passes before I notice he’s been browsing the XBox Live cards and seems very lost.)

    Me: “Hey, did you have any questions?”

    Boy: “I just got an XBox 360, and my buddy said I need a live membership. What’s that?”

    (I go through the explanation of how XBox Live works, how it gets you free games and everything, etc.)

    Boy: “Okay. But then, how do I get it in my system?”

    Me: “Well, the cards here come with a code. On your 360, you just go into the store while logged in on your account, and there should be an area to redeem the code on the back. That’ll get it attached to your account! It’s really easy.”

    Boy: *seems suspicious* “So then… I guess… they mail it to me?”

    Me: “Oh, no! You just enter the code that comes with the card onto your 360, and it goes on there… I may not be explaining this right, sorry. But there are detailed instructions on the card!”

    Boy: “…so then, after I put it on my system, they mail it to me?!”

    Me: “Ah, nope… It’s all digital.”

    Boy: “But then where do the free games come from?”

    Me: “They’re digital as well! You download them. It’s easy, and it pretty much explains itself as you do it.”

    Boy: “And then if I download them they mail me something?”

    Me: “Oh, nope, you don’t get anything in the mail.”

    Boy: “But then how do I get it?”

    Me: “You… download it?”

    Boy: “But then what will they mail me?”

    Me: “Nothing? Anything you need you download right to your XBox 360. Like, through the Internet.”

    Boy: “Oh. Okay.”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Boy: “So I just enter that code, and then download it?”

    Me: “Yeah!”

    Boy: “Through the mail.”

    Me: “No, nothing comes in the mail; it’s through the Internet.”

    Boy: “But then what do I download through the mail?”

    Me: “… nothing comes through the mail.”

    Boy: “How do you make it come through?”

    Me: “The Internet.”

    Boy: “I can get Internet on my XBox?! I set up the wifi for Netflix, but I didn’t know it got actual Internet.”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s crazy what you can do in 2014.”

    Boy: “Can you explain this to my dad? He knows nothing about this stuff. Hey, dad, come here, this girl figured out that I have Internet on my XBox!”

    (A man, maybe in his 40s, dressed all in camo with hunting boots and looking very scary comes up.)

    Boy: “She just told me how to download things from the Internet for my XBox without mailing them.”

    Man: “I don’t know how your mom will feel about that.”

    (I had to repeat the entire conversation with the boy to his father and basically explain every technological advance related to Internet use. I kept looking for signs they were messing with me, but these people were just… Well… I drank a lot after that shift.)

    They’re Back In Action

    | MI, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Technology

    (A lady and her son come into the store I work at and promptly approached the counter to inquire about a certain item.)

    Me: “How’s it going? Were you looking for anything tonight?”

    Mother: “Yeah, my son, he needs the back to a P3.”

    Me: *assuming she means PS3 parts* “Sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t sell parts here. You’d have more luck taking it up the road to another store to be repaired or checking online for it. ”

    Mother: “NO, I need THE BACK to the P3.”

    Me: “Did you need one of the cables that plug into the back? Like a power cable that plugs into the wall or the video cables that go from the back of the PS3 to the TV?”

    Mother: “NO. I JUST NEED THE BACK.”

    Me: *showing her the power and AV cables* “Is this what you’re looking for?”

    Mother: “No, did you find it yet?”

    (Her son who was going through the PS3 accessories on display ever since they walked in, begins yelling:)

    Son: “Look, Ma! The back! I found the back to the P3!”

    (Lo and behold it was the first set of AV cables I showed the mother at the counter.. They left exclaiming how exciting it was to find the back of their PS3 they needed so they could use it again.)

    A Chequered Credit History

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (We had just stopped taking checks the day before. A customer walks in, and starts writing a check.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t accept checks. You can pay with cash, or a debit or credit card.”

    Customer: “Do you know who I am? My family has owned ALL of the pharmacies here in town for the last hundred years!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Our system won’t allow checks. You’ll have to pay with another option.”

    Customer: “My family has more money than this whole mall!”

    (The customer then pulls out a credit card to pay.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Your card was declined.”

    (The customer walked out of the store without saying another word.)

    He’s Just Been KO’d

    | Dearborn, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m shopping at my local major games retailer, where the staff and I have an excellent relationship. I am finishing up my transaction when I hear a 12ish-year-old boy convincing his mother to buy him ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts.’)

    Kid: “But Mom, all my friends are playing it! They’re already making fun of me because it took me so long to get a PS4!”

    Mom: “Okay, okay… and you’re sure this isn’t a bloody or inappropriate game? I don’t like the look of the soldier on the front. I don’t want you playing anything like that Grand Theft whatever game.”

    Kid: “Oh, my god, Mom. I’m not a little baby anymore! Just get me the d*** game!”

    (Seeing the looks of apprehension and dread on the faces of the two guys behind the counter, as they now have the unhappy task of explaining to the mother of this brat why she shouldn’t buy it, I step in.)

    Me: “Miss, you should know that game is horribly violent and gory. It depicts lots of blood, war scenes, even an enhanced interrogation scene where you slowly kill a man for information. It’s something you’ll want to consider before buying it for your son.”

    Mom: “Oh, my gosh! [Kid], is this true?!”

    Kid: “No, Mom. He’s lying! He’s just some random fat guy!”

    (At this little insult, I decide to really ruin the kids day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you familiar with the MPAA’s movie rating system? Like how they rate movies based on their content? Well there’s a similar body called the ESRB, and they rate all major video game releases for their content.”

    (I show her their emblem on the back along with the description for their rating.)

    Me: “They even have a website where you can look up more specific details on each game. It’s a good way to research them.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow… Thank you so much. Can I trouble you to recommend a game for him?”

    (At this point, the kid is jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene, yelling at his mother, and calling me a liar. We choose a game and the mom questions the staff.)

    Mom: “I’m in here all the time. Why have you never told me about this rating system?! That’s pretty irresponsible not to inform the parents.”

    Employee #1: “Honestly, ma’am, we didn’t know you were buying it for a kid. We would’ve mentioned it if we knew.”

    Mom: “Of course I bought it for my child! Honestly, what sort of adult plays these stupid games?”

    Employee #2: “Me, my associate, the gentleman who helped you, and everyone who works at this store, to name a few.”

    (The mom goes red and pays for the game.)

    Mom: *on their way out* “When we get home, young man, I’m looking up all your games on this ESRB thing!”

    Kid: “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S JUST A F****** FAT A**!”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

    | Derby, England, UK | At The Checkout, Technology, Underaged

    (I have recently started working part time at a locally-run video game store while I’m studying Law at the college. We have just gone over Statutory Instruments in class. A customer who looks about 14 walks in, picks up a copy of GTA 5, and walks to the counter.)

    Customer: “Just this game, mate.”

    Me: “Thats £40. Can I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “You can just let it slide, right? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen to you? I’m clearly 18 and just forgot my ID.”

    Me: “Actually, selling age restricted goods to a minor is a statutory offence under the Children and Young Persons Act 1933 where the owners of this shop would be liable for prosecution. All that needs to be proved is that you bought the game and we are liable. I would lose my job and this place would more than likely shut down, so that’s the ‘worst that could happen.’”

    Customer: “…So, is that a no?”

    Me: “A large no.”

    Customer: *runs out the door*

    Manager: *to me* “I’m glad we chose you over the other guy!”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

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