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    Dispense With The Pedantries

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in here yesterday and picked up a liquid allergy medication for my dog.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You didn’t give me the right syringe to give it to them.”

    (The customer places a bottle of medication and a plastic 3CC syringe on the counter. I pick up the the syringe and the bottle, which instructs the owner to give 5CC’s orally, three times per day. I test the syringe to make sure that it’s working properly.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, but what problem do you seem be having with this?”

    Customer: “Can’t you see that the instructions say to give 5CC’s per day?!”

    Me: “I can see that.”

    Customer: “Then why did you only give me a 3CC dispenser?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have any 5CC syringes. You’re supposed to fill the syringe up to the 3CC mark, dispense it, and then give another 2CCs.”

    Customer: “But that’s not 5CCs.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That just isn’t going to work! 3CC’s plus 2CC’s isn’t 5CC’s!”

    (I decide not to argue with her, so I go back into the back and grab another 3CC syringe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about the mix up. The doctor is very sorry. He says to give the dog the first syringe clear full. Then, fill this new syringe up to the 2CC mark, and dispense that orally.”

    Customer: “Well, why couldn’t you have done that in the first place?!”

    Color Me Stupid, Part 3

    | Ohio, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I have a new kitten for an appointment.”

    Me: “Okay, let me get some information from you…”

    (I get a lot of information and come to the question about color.)

    Me: “And what color is the cat?”

    Customer: “It’s cream.”

    Me: “Cream and white?”

    Customer: “No, just plain cream colored!”

    (We get back to the room and I take the cat out of the carrier. It’s a black cat.)

    Related:
    Color Me Stupid, Part 2
    Color Me Stupid

    Why So Serious

    | Ontario, Canada | Pets & Animals

    (I am a vet assistant helping a woman who has brought in a small, very hyper dog. I lift the dog up on the table and it starts jumping all over the place.)

    Me: *jokingly* “It must be part kangaroo!”

    Woman: *very pointedly* “It’s. A. Dog.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Bestial Superiority Complexes

    | France | Pets & Animals

    (I’m a customer at the vet with my cat. Another customer walks in with a large dog.)

    Receptionist: “Good morning! Do you have an appointment?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to see the vet for vaccinations.”

    Receptionist: “I’ll let him know you’re in, but you will have to wait. We have another patient with an appointment waiting.”

    Customer: *looks at my cat* “But it’s just some cat! My dog is a pure breed and it cost 1000 euros!”

    Me: “And your point is?”

    Customer: “I’m in a hurry! Can’t you just wait a bit longer? Your cat isn’t a pure breed.”

    Me: “Yes, but she has an appointment and your purebred dog doesn’t.”

    (At this point, the vet comes in and asks me to bring my cat. As I walk in the exam room, I can hear the customer complaining.)

    Customer: “No self-respecting vet would make a pure breed wait!”

    A Dogged Request

    | Oregon, USA |

    (My boss, the groomer, does a thing called “stripping”, which is basically plucking the hairs off the body of a wiry-haired dog with a special brush. My coworker answers the phone and I’m right there listening to the conversation. It’s a man who owns an Irish Terrier.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to speak to your stripper!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I need to make an appointment with your stripper!”

    Coworker: “Um, do you mean our groomer?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what you’re saying. I need the stripper to strip my Irish dog!”

    Coworker: “All right. I’m just gonna put you on hold so I can put the…stripper…on the line.”

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