Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,800 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    One Customer And You’re Already Pooped

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am waiting to pick up my cat at the vet when I witness an exchange between the receptionist and a customer.)

    Receptionist: “She’s doing well. She’s passed some formed feces—”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Receptionist: “Uh… It just means it’s solid—”

    Customer: “But what does that MEAN?”

    Receptionist: “What? Formed feces?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that second one.”

    Receptionist: “Oh… um… It’s her bowel movements.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Number Two?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Her, um, her poo, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

    Banking Is A Whole Different Animal

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

    (My coworker takes a phone call.)

    Coworker: “This is [Veterinarian]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “This is [Name]. My account number is [number]. I got an insufficient funds notice and I know I have enough in that account. You need to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Sir, this is not a bank.”

    Caller: “YES, IT IS! I just gave you my account number!”

    Where Does The Fox Stay?

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    Client: “I’m 90 years old, and when I came downstairs this morning there was a cat and five kittens in my kitchen! What should I do? I can’t look after these kittens; I’m 90!”

    Me: “Have you tried asking your neighbours if anyone recognises the cat?”

    Client: “Yes, yes, I tried that.”

    Me: “You could try phoning the [well known animal charity]?”

    Client: “I’m not doing that!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Do you mind if I ask why not?”

    Client: “I phoned them once because I had a fox come through my cat flap! They refused to come out and get it, so it ended up staying for three months!”

    It’s A Dog-Gone Fact

    | NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (Two techs have food poisoning today, so it is just me, a new girl, and the vet. We are in the middle of surgery when a very well-dressed customer and her blue heeler dog come in.)

    Me: “Hi, I’ll be with you in just a minute.”

    Customer: “Nobody else is here, so you should help me now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am but we are in the middle of surgery and we are short-staffed today. So if you could please take a seat, I will help you when we are finished.”

    Customer: “You are being rude! I am a paying customer!”

    Me: “Okay then, ma’am. What is the problem today?”

    Customer: “My dog is pregnant. I want to know how many puppies there are.”

    Me: “Okay, and what is her name?”

    Customer: “HIS!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “HIS name is Bandit.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but male dogs can’t get pregnant.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU DONT KNOW S***!” *storms out*

    Me: *sigh* “It’s only 9:30.”

    Physician, Listen To Thyself

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (We have a popular puppy preschool class that generally gets full two weeks prior. It also requires a deposit to secure your position. Most people pay when they book. It is one day before class start.)

    Customer: “Hello, I am a surgeon and my time is precious so if you could hurry up and pay my deposit for puppy preschool.”

    Me: “Sure, what was your name?”

    Customer: *sigh* “I can’t believe I have to deal with this. I’m a surgeon and should be spoken to in proper English. It’s not “was your name”, it’s “is your name”.”

    Me: “My apologies. What is your name? I will check your deposit paid on the list.”

    Customer: “My name is [name], and hurry up! I just got off night shift at the hospital as I’m a pediatric surgeon.”

    Me: “I see that you do have your name on the waiting list, but as the class is starting tomorrow the class has been filled as others have come in earlier to pay their deposits and secure their positions. I’m sorry, but there are no vacancies at this stage.”

    Customer: “So, how much is the deposit?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, again, but I can’t take your deposit as the class is full.”

    Customer: “You just said that. Don’t repeat yourself. How much is the deposit? I booked the class three weeks ago.”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry. The deposit is required to secure a position. Simply booking won’t secure your position. We usually explain this when you book in and recommend you pay a deposit at the time of booking.”

    Customer: “Yes, you did recommend that, but I am a surgeon; my time is precious. I work long hours so I could not pay it then. I am here to pay today.”

    Me: “We appreciate people may work long and difficult hours. We do have extended hours to make it easier for our clients. Our opening hours are 8 am – 8 pm, seven days a week, and if you are unable to come in, then we do take phone payments.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m a surgeon and work longer than that and don’t get a break. So, you need to respect me and take my deposit.”

    Me: “I am sorry. As I said the class is full and I cannot take your deposit. I can put you on a waiting list for our next class with a date TBA, but we don’t take deposits for future classes until dates are confirmed.”

    Customer. “Stop repeating yourself! Take my deposit!” *slams credit card onto counter*

    Me: “I am trying to explain that I can’t take your deposit as the class is full. I can’t fit you into that class, and paying your deposit will not get you in.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you keep repeating yourself. I am going to ring the puppy preschool trainer tomorrow.”

    Me: “You are welcome to ring her, but she will still be unable to fit you in her class as it is full.”

    Customer: “I am a surgeon. She knows this and has kept a position for me. Take my deposit so I can leave!”

    Me: “I have been trying to explain the class is full. You cannot join this class.”

    Customer: “Stupid dumb b****!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir. You can’t speak to me that way!”

    Customer: “I am a surgeon!” *leaves*


    Page 2/912345...Last