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  • Threat Of A Roverdose

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a vet clinic. One of my coworkers answers a call from a customer we had a few days earlier.)

    Customer: “Yes. I’m calling to complain about the service I received the other day.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Four days ago I came over because my dog had parasites. The veterinarian gave me a prescription that says: Give 15 cc once daily for three days. But I don’t know what cc are.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry about the confusion. CC and milliliters are actually the same. If you look closely on the syringe we gave you, you can see that both cc and ml are written on it, next to the number.”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve studied pharmacology and I’ve never heard of cc’s so you shouldn’t put it. Also. how am I supposed to give 15 cc to my dog if you only gave me a 5 ml syringe?”

    Coworker: “As I’ve told you, the syringe is graduated in both cc and ml. We give smaller syringe because it makes the medication easier to give. To give 15 cc, you have to give three syringe of 5 cc.”

    Customer: “But I only have one syringe, and I don’t know what cc are!”

    Coworker: “So what have you been giving your dog for the past few days?”

    Customer: “Well, since your prescription was so unclear, I’ve been giving him one full syringe per day.”

    Coworker: “So… you didn’t understand the prescription we gave you, and instead of calling us right away for us to clarify everything you decided to just give him a random amount? And you say you’ve studied in pharmacology?!”

    Customer: “Yes, because your instruction were unclear. You really have to tell your vets that their service is severely lacking!”

    Coworker: “All right… I’ll give them the message.”

    Truly Terrible With Names

    | USA | Funny Names

    (I have a more ‘unique’ name for a girl. If someone just skips over my name or says it wrong, I don’t correct them. But sometimes people want to clarify.)

    Me: “Good Afternoon. [Vet Clinic]. This is Joie. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi. Did you say your name was Jody?”

    Me: “No, sir. Joie.”

    Caller: “Joanie?”

    Me: “Uh, no. Joie. Like a baby kangaroo.”

    Caller: “Oh, you said Julie?”

    Me: “No, sir, Joie. But that’s okay. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “And your name isn’t Julie?”

    Me: “No sir. It’s Joie.”

    Caller: “I prefer Julie to your name.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “Can I call you Julie at least? I don’t like your name.”

    Me: “No. No, you cannot.”

    Caller: “Okay, I will call back later when I can talk to someone with a better name. Bye.”

    One Customer And You’re Already Pooped

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am waiting to pick up my cat at the vet when I witness an exchange between the receptionist and a customer.)

    Receptionist: “She’s doing well. She’s passed some formed feces—”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Receptionist: “Uh… It just means it’s solid—”

    Customer: “But what does that MEAN?”

    Receptionist: “What? Formed feces?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that second one.”

    Receptionist: “Oh… um… It’s her bowel movements.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Number Two?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Her, um, her poo, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

    Banking Is A Whole Different Animal

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

    (My coworker takes a phone call.)

    Coworker: “This is [Veterinarian]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “This is [Name]. My account number is [number]. I got an insufficient funds notice and I know I have enough in that account. You need to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Sir, this is not a bank.”

    Caller: “YES, IT IS! I just gave you my account number!”

    Where Does The Fox Stay?

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    Client: “I’m 90 years old, and when I came downstairs this morning there was a cat and five kittens in my kitchen! What should I do? I can’t look after these kittens; I’m 90!”

    Me: “Have you tried asking your neighbours if anyone recognises the cat?”

    Client: “Yes, yes, I tried that.”

    Me: “You could try phoning the [well known animal charity]?”

    Client: “I’m not doing that!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Do you mind if I ask why not?”

    Client: “I phoned them once because I had a fox come through my cat flap! They refused to come out and get it, so it ended up staying for three months!”

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