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    No Vocation For Location, Part 10

    | Oklahoma City, OK , USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a veterinary hospital that is part of a chain located inside a popular pet supply store.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Vet]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Ya, this is the office at [our location], isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Customer: “I was wondering about your other locations. Can you tell me where they are?”

    Me: “I can do that for you. Was there a particular location or area you were interested in?”

    Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

    Me: “…Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

    Me: “Um, it’s up on May Street at about 63rd Street.”

    Customer: “Great! Thank you for your help!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 9
    No Vocation For Location, Part 8
    No Vocation For Location, Part 7

    Cat-atonic To Your Pleas

    | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I’m waiting in the lobby of my vet’s office. Because I don’t own a car and either take a taxi or the bus there, I have my dog’s carrier with me, but I’ve taken him out of it. Another client comes in with a carrier, checks in, and sits down next to me. After a second, I realize she has a cat in the carrier. My dog is not friendly with cats, so I get up and move to some seats on the other end of the lobby.)

    Me: *on my way to the far-away seat, big smile on my face* “You don’t smell, I promise. It’s just that my dog is aggressive towards cats, and if he realizes there’s a cat in your carrier, he will begin to act out.”

    Other Client: “Nonsense, all pets can be friendly towards each other. They just have to be properly introduced. Come over here; they’ll be fine!”

    Me: “Really, I’ve tried just about everything. He really dislikes cats and will try to attack them. Sometimes it’s in their genes. It’s no big deal. We’ll just sit over here and he won’t even realize you have a cat there!”

    Other Client: *reaching for the door of her carrier* “Oh, come on now. I watch The Dog Whisperer. I can get them to get along.”

    Me: “Please don’t! I’d feel terrible if he hurt your cat! I don’t want him to get hurt, either, if the cat needs to defend itself.”

    (Despite my pleas, the other client takes her cat out of the carrier. My dog immediately hits the end of his leash, nearly foaming at the mouth. She ignores his obvious aggression and starts walking towards us, doing this stupid sing-songy “be a good doggie and make friends with the cat” while her cat sees what’s up and starts hissing and trying to get away from her to run away.)

    Me: *trying to corral my dog and shove him in his own carrier* “PLEASE BACK OFF NOW! MY DOG WILL HURT YOUR CAT IF YOU FORCE THEM TOGETHER! PLEASE STOP!”

    (She doesn’t stop, but I manage to get my dog back in his carrier before she reaches us. SHE HOLDS THE CAT UP TO THE MESH WINDOW OF MY DOG’S CARRIER, which I’ve situated behind my legs, persisting in her sing-songy “be a nice doggy!” while my dog tries to eat through his carrier to eat the cat.)

    Receptionist: “Uh, I think you probably want to keep your cat away… Um, this doesn’t sound good.” *she runs to get some assistance*

    Me: “That is enough! Get that cat away from my dog! And me, I have terrible allergies!”

    Other Client: “Oh, why didn’t you just say you were allergic! I don’t want to make you miserable all day!”

    (I think her cat was quite relieved that she then put it back in its carrier and took her seat across the lobby from me. But… she was willing to avoid aggravating my allergies, but not driving my dog mad, scaring the daylights out of her cat, and risking harm to both?)

    Sick Of His Secrets

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (A man brought his little dog in because she wasn’t eating or going to the bathroom. The vets examined her and found that she had something stuck in her stomach blocking entrance to her small intestines. We ended up inducing vomiting. My job was to search for what could have caused the blockage.)

    Me: *digging through the pile of vomit with a tongue depressor* “Ugh. Why is there so much stuff here? The guy said she wasn’t eating!”

    Coworker: “Never thought I’d be digging through puke on a Saturday morning. Hey, what’s this?” *holding up a pink lacy thong with fishnet stockings stuck on it*

    Me: “Oh, my god.”

    (We bagged it up so the vet could show the client before sending it to the lab.)

    Vet: “Sir, we found the cause of the blockage.”

    Client: “Oh. OH. OH, MY… Can… can you please dispose of it?”

    Vet: “We have to send it to the lab. Don’t worry; we’ll have them dispose of it.”

    Client: “Thank you…”

    (After he left, we all just about died laughing.)

    Get The Name Right Or You’re Going To Have Kittens

    | France | Pets & Animals

    (I’m the stupid customer in this story. I’m phoning a veterinarian for the very first time in my life.)

    Receptionist: “Hello.”

    Me: “Hello. May I have an appointment this week, please?”

    Receptionist: “Why, exactly?”

    Me: “I just adopted a kitten and I’d like to make sure everything’s all right, to know about vaccinations and so on, you see?”

    Receptionist: “All right. What about Wednesday at 10?”

    Me: “That’s okay for me.”

    Receptionist: “What’s the name?”

    Me: “My name or the cat’s name?”

    (I realize I just asked a really stupid question – as if the cat was going to enter and say her name!)

    Receptionist: “Your name.”

    (I really felt stupid…)

    An Odd Place To Have A Pet Hate

    | TX, USA | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (This is a phone call I received from a client.)

    Me: “Animal Clinic, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was hoping to reschedule my appointment. I tried coming in yesterday, but the lobby was very full of pets, and it aggravated my allergies. Could I make an appointment for a time when the lobby won’t be full of pets?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that this is a veterinary clinic? I cannot guarantee that the lobby won’t have other pets in it at any time. First thing in the morning will probably be your best bet for it not being too crowded.”

    Customer: “Okay, but if the lobby is too full of pets again, then I’ll have to leave. You really should be more considerate about people’s allergies.”

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