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    Totally ‘Tanga’

    | Hastings, NE, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Technology

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have the parts on hand to fix my TV?”

    Me: “Well, your TV is 12 years old. I can have the parts in a day or two.”

    (The customer starts every cuss word in the book, yelling at me about my incompetence and lack of skill.)

    Me: *stands there and waits until she pauses for a breath, when she does…* “Ma’am, would you like to learn some Tagalog?”

    Customer: “Huh?…What’s Tagalog?”

    Me: “It’s the language of the Philippines.”

    Customer: “Why would I need to learn that?”

    Me: *in the same, low toned and calm voice I have been using during her entire screaming session* “So you don’t have to use the same seven cuss words over and over.”

    (Right after saying that, I calmly picked up my tools and headed for the door. The customer, red faced and stuttering, tried to yell at me some more, but was at a complete loss for words.)

    Time For A Tea-V

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

    Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

    Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

    Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

    Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

    (The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

    Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

    Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

    Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

    (My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

    Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”