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    Obviously, They Prefer Fartissimo

    , | Huntington Beach, CA, USA | School

    (In music, “pianissimo” means “very quiet”. It is abbreviated as “PP” on sheet music and scores. Currently, I am teaching a student who always pounds the keys, no matter what dynamic level is indicated.)

    Student: “Oh no! This has PP!”

    Me: “Yep, it’s a quiet piece.”

    Student: “I hate PP! It’s too hard to do. I can’t do PP!”

    Me: “Sounds like a personal problem to me, buddy…”

    It Works Better When Fed Cheese

    , | California, USA | Technology

    (Our college has students of all ages in attendance. Sometimes, the older ones need a little more guidance with using technology. Today, an older gentleman approaches my help desk brandishing several handwritten sheets of lined paper.)

    Student: “My teacher says I need to type this.”

    Me: “Okay! Well, I think the best program is Word. Just double-click on that blue “W” right there.”

    (The student pokes the monitor’s screen with his index finger.)

    Me: “Ah, well, actually, we don’t have touchscreens. You have to use the mouse. See?”

    (I gesture to the mouse.)

    Student: “Oh, okay.”

    (He picks up mouse, places it on the monitor screen and clicks. The he looks at me expectantly.)

    Me: “Er, well, you have to use it on the mouse pad.”

    (I take the mouse and put it back on the mouse pad. Then I show him that when moving the mouse, the cursor on the screen moves.)

    Student: “It’s not working very well. Maybe you guys didn’t feed it enough.”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

    Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

    Student: “I know what twilight means!”

    Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

    Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    His Requirements Don’t Add Up

    | CA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi. I’m calling about your GED program.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have a specific program for the GED. I can assure you that all of our tutors are more than able to tutor the level of math on the GED.”

    Caller: “Well, I’d like someone who has personal experience with the GED.”

    Me: “Yes, but the GED test is for people who weren’t able to graduate high school.”

    Caller: “Right.”

    Me: “So, you want to be tutored by a tutor who didn’t graduate high school?”

    Caller: “You don’t have anyone?”

    Me: “No. All of our tutors graduated with honors and are now in college.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, can you let me know if you ever get someone who is qualified?”

    Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Canadians

    | Auburn, WA, USA |

    (I’m a Canadian citizen, but I’ve lived in the US for 12 years.)

    Student: “Canadians talk funny.”

    Me: “I’m actually from Canada, you know.”

    Student: “But, you don’t live in the woods!”

    Me: *amused* “Well, not all Canadians live in the woods, you know. They live in cities as well, just like here.”

    Student: “So, did you come here to have a better life?”

    Related:
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3
    Yukon Not Spend It
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan
    Yukon Spend It
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map


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