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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    I Could Not, Would Not, On A Boat, But Maybe A Goat

    | Europe | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, *** Travel. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Caller: “Do you offer cruise packages?”

    Me: “Yes sir, we do.”

    Caller: “Would that be on a ship?”

    Me: “…”

    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

    | Pendel, PA, USA | Top

    Customer, calling from a cell phone: “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

    Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

    Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

    Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

    Customer: “I told you that is none of your $%@# business.”

    (After few more exchanges of this sort…)

    Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

    Manager, who overheard part of the conversation already: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

    Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

    Customer: “&@#$#!! Just $%%@# tell me how to get there.”

    Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

    Customer: *click*

    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    Why Can’t You Be Omniscient?!

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Top

    Customer: “Do other places besides Disney sell Disney tickets?”

    Me: “I believe so, but I only have information about the tickets we sell.”

    Customer: “How much do other places charge?”

    Me: “I don’t have any information on other ticket resellers.”

    Customer: “Is it cheaper if I buy tickets somewhere else?”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know anything about other places, only Disney.”

    Customer: “Will they add the no expiration option for me?”

    Me: “I don’t know.”

    Customer: “Can you give me names and contact information for other ticket places?”

    Me: “Sir, I can only help you if you wish to purchase tickets directly from Disney.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re being unhelpful!”

    There’s Dumb, And Then There’s Scary Dumb

    , | Tampa, FL | Top

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Woman: “Yes, I’d like to buy tickets for Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.”

    Me: “Wonderful, when will you be attending?”

    Woman: “Tonight.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, we actually have sold out for tonight’s event.”

    Woman: “Oh, okay, I’ll just get tickets when I get to the park.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t have any tickets at all left. You won’t be able to purchase them at the park.”

    Woman: “Right, you’re just sold out of advance tickets, that’s okay, I’ll just get them there.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry ma’am, we are sold out of ALL tickets. That means there are NONE available when you get there.”

    Woman: “But I can still go, right? I just won’t have a ticket?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t attend Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party without a ticket, and we do not have any tickets available.”

    Woman: “Fine, I’ll get my tickets when I get to the park.”

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