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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Bison Wings Has An Interesting Ring To It

    | Calgary, Canada |

    Client: “I need a flight.”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. Where to?”

    Client: “Bison.”

    Me: ¬†”Um… okay, ma’am. And that is?”

    Client: “In the US.”

    Me: “Sure… and what state?”

    Client: “I am not sure, but I need one leaving Friday.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t find any flights to Bison.”

    Client: “It’s a BIG place. ”

    Me: “Do you mean Buffalo, New York?”

    Client: “We don’t call them BUFFALO anymore.”

    Me: “Ma’am, they didn’t change the name of the city.”

    Because 8 Bajillion Signs Are Always The Answer

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    (A lady calls our travel office regarding a certain theme park in central Florida.)

    Caller: “Do you allow sex offenders into your theme parks?”

    Me: “Well, as hundreds of thousands of people enter our parks each day, we’re not able to ID each person and check their criminal history.”

    Caller: “So you encourage sex offenders to come to a place filled with little children?”

    Me: “No…”

    Caller: “Do you have signs saying ‘No Sex Offenders’?”

    Me: “Um, no. But as part of a sex offender’s parole or probation, they’re not allowed within a certain number of feet of children, so that would be law enforcement’s responsibility.”

    Caller: “I’m appalled that you encourage sex offenders to come to your park. I’m going elsewhere!”

    I Could Not, Would Not, On A Boat, But Maybe A Goat

    | Europe |

    Me: “Hello, *** Travel. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Caller: “Do you offer cruise packages?”

    Me: “Yes sir, we do.”

    Caller: “Would that be on a ship?”

    Me: “…”

    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

    | Pendel, PA, USA | Top

    Customer, calling from a cell phone: “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

    Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

    Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

    Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

    Customer: “I told you that is none of your $%@# business.”

    (After few more exchanges of this sort…)

    Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

    Manager, who overheard part of the conversation already: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

    Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

    Customer: “&@#$#!! Just $%%@# tell me how to get there.”

    Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

    Customer: *click*

    Related:
    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    Why Can’t You Be Omniscient?!

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Top

    Customer: “Do other places besides Disney sell Disney tickets?”

    Me: “I believe so, but I only have information about the tickets we sell.”

    Customer: “How much do other places charge?”

    Me: “I don’t have any information on other ticket resellers.”

    Customer: “Is it cheaper if I buy tickets somewhere else?”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know anything about other places, only Disney.”

    Customer: “Will they add the no expiration option for me?”

    Me: “I don’t know.”

    Customer: “Can you give me names and contact information for other ticket places?”

    Me: “Sir, I can only help you if you wish to purchase tickets directly from Disney.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re being unhelpful!”


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