November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Customer Service Speaks Your Language

| Clearwater, FL, USA | Rude & Risque

(A customer calls on phone asking for directions.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need to pick up my friend getting off the bus depot. Where are you located?

Me: “We are 1/2 mile east of [road], across the street from [sports bar].”

Customer: “What’s that? Could you spell that for me?”

(I proceed to spell the name of the establishment.)

Customer: “Oh, [sports bar]. You should have just said ‘boobies’! That would have been much faster.”

Misunderstanding Headwind

| Dallas, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I am selling an elderly woman an airline ticket for her first trip on a plane.)

Me: “Would you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat on the plane?”

Customer: “Oh I think I’ll take an aisle seat. I plan on getting my hair done before the trip and I don’t want it blowing around.”

I Have A Sinking Feeling

| Oak Harbor, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

(Note: We have posters of real and fictional places on the walls.)

Customer: “Can I book a trip there?” *points at a poster of Atlantis*

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a real place.”

Customer: *angry* “Then why is it on your wall!? That confuses people!”

Me: “We figured most people knew that there are no cities under water.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t assume everybody is that smart!”

Giving The French Stick

| AK, USA | Geography, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

Customer: *with a strong French accent* “I would like a ticket to Paris, USA.”

(His friends are snickering.)

Me: “The one in Illinois or in Tennessee?”

Customer: *pauses* “What?”

Me: “Do you want Paris IL, or Paris TN?”

Customer: “How about Marseilles?”

Me: “Okay, Marseilles in Illinois or Ohio?”

Customer: “Berlin?”

Me: “So, Connecticut?”

Customer: “Moscow?”

Me: “Idaho?”

Customer: “You’re making that up.”

(I show him the screen for Moscow, Idaho.)

Customer: “Look, I was only pointing out that American movies always list the city and country for a location because you’re too d*** stupid to know that Paris is in France!”

Mountainous Gaps Of Knowledge

| Brighton, UK | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. I want to go on holiday this summer. I’d like to visit somewhere a bit different.”

Me: “Would you be interested in visiting mountains or skiing at all?”

Customer: “That could be fun. Except I don’t like the cold.”

Me: “Well places like the Pyrenees are in Spain, so it’s very hot at ground level and there’s lots to see.”

Customer: “What? No, mountains are cold. They have snow on.”

Me: “Yes, the peaks are colder because they are at a higher altitude.”

Customer: “The bottom bit is hot?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “…but I thought mountains only grew in cold places?”