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    This Trip Is Not Going To Pan-ama Out

    | Texas, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”

    Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”

    Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”

    Customer: “Vancouver.”

    They Swim Upriver To Mate

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”

    Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”

    Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”

    Customer Service Speaks Your Language

    | Clearwater, FL, USA | Rude & Risque

    (A customer calls on phone asking for directions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need to pick up my friend getting off the bus depot. Where are you located?

    Me: “We are 1/2 mile east of [road], across the street from [sports bar].”

    Customer: “What’s that? Could you spell that for me?”

    (I proceed to spell the name of the establishment.)

    Customer: “Oh, [sports bar]. You should have just said ‘boobies’! That would have been much faster.”

    Misunderstanding Headwind

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    (I am selling an elderly woman an airline ticket for her first trip on a plane.)

    Me: “Would you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat on the plane?”

    Customer: “Oh I think I’ll take an aisle seat. I plan on getting my hair done before the trip and I don’t want it blowing around.”

    I Have A Sinking Feeling

    | Oak Harbor, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: We have posters of real and fictional places on the walls.)

    Customer: “Can I book a trip there?” *points at a poster of Atlantis*

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a real place.”

    Customer: *angry* “Then why is it on your wall!? That confuses people!”

    Me: “We figured most people knew that there are no cities under water.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t assume everybody is that smart!”


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