Customer: “Hello, I’m calling to make sure that my flight back to Israel departs as scheduled, and that my request for a kosher meal has been approved.”
Me: “Sir, your ticket has already expired. Your flight was on May 15th.”
Customer: “What?!? That’s not possible! I am absolutely sure that my flight is on May 29th!”
Me: “Sir, have you perhaps changed your ticket’s return date?”
Customer: “No way! I would remember that! I’m not senile. My flight is on May 29th and I did not change my ticket!”
Me: “The computer says your flight was on May 15th. Could you look at the printout of your ticket and tell me what date appears there?”
Customer: “Oh, my God…”
Me: “Sir?”
Customer: “I forgot! I completely forgot! I am calling you from Netanya! I already am back in Israel!”
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2,537 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “I need some maps.”
Me: “Maps of what?”
Customer: “Places.”
Me: “What kind of places?”
Customer: “Other places!”
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795 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”
Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”
Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”
Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”
Customer: “Vancouver.”
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871 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”
Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”
Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”
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1,358 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer calls on phone asking for directions.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I need to pick up my friend getting off the bus depot. Where are you located?
Me: “We are 1/2 mile east of [road], across the street from [sports bar].”
Customer: “What’s that? Could you spell that for me?”
(I proceed to spell the name of the establishment.)
Customer: “Oh, [sports bar]. You should have just said ‘boobies’! That would have been much faster.”
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791 Thumbs Up!)
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