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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Off-Track Solution

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway, Transportation

    (I work as an attendant for the local transit train system. A family walks in and buys some tickets for next the train to Toronto. Afterwards, they go out to the platform as the train begins to arrive. Once it stops, the daughter runs off the platform and goes under the first car lying against the tracks. Everyone goes into a panic, so I run out and try talk to the girl.)

    Me: “Ma’am, get out from under there!”

    Customer: “No! We bought tickets, so we go to Toronto!”

    Me: “Yes… so are you trying to board?”

    Customer: “Yeah! This is the way in!”

    Me: “No, you go through the doors.”

    Customer: “No, I am not stupid! Those are just stickers for show! That’s just f****** stupid! God!”

    (I give up and leave. The conductor had to pry her out and show her the real way in. It ended up halting all train traffic for that specific line and delayed all trains for two hours.)

    He Got BUS-ted

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top, Transportation

    (I’m at the busiest train station in the state, waiting to get out of the station to grab some lunch whilst I wait for my train. I get stuck behind a man whose train ticket will not allow him to exit through the ticket gates.)

    Passenger: “Excuse me, my ticket isn’t working!”

    Employee: “Oh, can I see your ticket, please?”

    Passenger: “I bought this from a news agency. It’s supposed to work on all trains!”

    (The passenger hands the employee a pre-paid bus ticket.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this ticket won’t work here. This is not a train ticket.”

    Passenger: “But I bought it from a newsagent! It has to work!”

    Employee: “I don’t know what else to tell you, mate. This ticket will not work on this service, and you have wasted your money. I can let you through the gate, though, if you’ll just step back to let the gate open.”

    Passenger: “This is RIDICULOUS! This ticket is supposed to work! I used my hard-earned money on it! I spent Australian currency on this! Why isn’t it working?!”

    (There is now a very long line of irate people waiting for the man to just go through the now open gate. The employee is dumbfounded as to why the man won’t just leave. I lose my temper because I’m hungry and my train is to leave shortly, so I step in.)

    Me: “Dude. You bought the wrong ticket. That ticket is a bus ticket. Operative word: BUS. This is a train station.”

    Passenger: “I don’t care! I bought it and therefore it should work!”

    Me: “Yeah, it will work on a bus, but that brings us back to the original predicament: this is a train station, so your ticket will not work, no matter how much you harass people about it.”

    Passenger: “Nobody asked you, you little b****.”

    Me: “No, you’re right; nobody asked me. But I’m f****** hungry, and you are holding up a few dozen people. So please shut up, accept the fact that you screwed up, and get out of the way.”

    Passenger: “You’ve got a mouth on you, don’t you?”

    Me: “I do, and I’d like to fill it with food, so please get the f*** out of my way.”

    (The passenger storms off, and I ask the employee if she can keep the gate open for me as I don’t want my ticket to get rejected on the way back through. She lets me through, and I go to get some food and come back. As I come back to the gate, there is a security guard and another employee standing with the first employee. The security guard approaches me with a notepad.)

    Security Guard: “Excuse me, miss: I just have a question for you. Are you in any way affiliated with [rail company] as a contractor or employee?”

    Me: “No, I’m just trying to get to Woolongong to see a few friends.”

    Security Guard: *closes notepad and smiles* “Thanks for that. That guy you told off? He tried to file an official complaint against you. He wouldn’t believe [Employee] when she said you don’t work here.”

    Employee: “And thanks for that, by the way. Enjoy your trip to the coast!”

    Please Mind The Gap Between The Bigot And All Reason

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bigotry, Top, Transportation

    (My partner and I are on the escalators in a train station leading to the platforms. We are standing to one side to let people through on the other. An older woman is standing on the other side, blocking the way for rushing people. Two younger women approach.)

    Young Woman: “Um, excuse me, miss, could you please move over? We’re running late for our train.”

    (The older woman sniffs and looks offended, but neither moves nor acknowledges them.)

    Young Woman: “Ma’am, could you move? We need to get home, and another train doesn’t come for half an hour.”

    (She tries to get around the woman, still to no avail.)

    Older Woman: “What do you brats think you’re doing? I’m an older citizen, and you don’t belong here. Look at you, you little [racial slur], with your tiny shorts, and boobs everywhere!”

    (The older woman continues her tirade for 10 seconds, before I’m fed up.)

    Me: “Look lady, move over and shut up. You’re obviously on the wrong side of the escalator, and you aren’t their mother. Move. Now!”

    (She moves, and both the girls smile, say thanks, and keep running. She now turns her foul mouth on me, even as I step off the escalator and head for the platforms, hand in hand with my partner.)

    Older Woman: “Nasty b****! You came here on a boat too, did you? Defending all that filth!”

    (I just smile at the two girls, who have just stopped, and are speaking to the guard. They point at the woman, and we watch as she’s removed from the station.)

    Going Loco(motive)

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top, Transportation

    (I work security at a light rail. The last light rail heading south comes through my station at 11:38 pm. It is currently 11:50 pm.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, officer, when is the next light rail heading south supposed to come?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, the last light rail heading south left at 11:38. There are no more running till tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.”

    Patron: “Bull-s***! I always catch the light rail later than this. You are full of s***! Just tell me when the next one is coming.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, their are no more coming tonight. I have been working at this particular station for six months, and can assure you that no more are coming tonight.”

    Patron: “Well, how the h*** are you getting home?”

    Me: “Well sir, when my shift ends, I drive myself home.”

    Patron: “Well, you’re gonna have to drive me home then.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I will not be able to do that. If you would like I can call you a cab. But there are no more light rails heading south tonight.”

    Patron: “Aren’t you security? You have to give me a ride home. It’s not my fault the f****** light rail stopped running early. Give me a f****** ride home.”

    Me: “No, sir, I will not give you a ride home. Unfortunately there are no light rails running south anymore, and if you are not catching the light rail north or east, I am going to have to ask you to leave, due to a no loitering law on the light rail stations.”

    Patron: “Bull-s***! I ain’t going nowhere if you don’t give me a ride!”

    Me: “Sir, if you refuse to leave, I am going to be forced to radio the light rail police.”

    Patron: “Call the mother-f****** police. I don’t give a f***!”

    (I go through with his “request” to call the police. When they arrive, he demands they give him a ride, and continues to refuse to leave. They end up giving him a ride—to jail.)

    Shogun The Way To Go Home, Part 2

    | Tokyo, Japan | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I grew up in Japan and am bilingual, even though I am Australian by birth. I am showing some Australian friends around Tokyo.)

    American customer: *to the station attendant, in English* “Hey, I need to get to Akihabara station. How do I do that?”

    Station attendant: *in Japanese* “Sorry, I do not speak English. Could you point it out?”

    (As the station attendant speaks, he has a big map of the subway system and his gestures make it VERY obvious what he wants the customer to do.)

    American customer: *in English* “Are you deaf?! I need to get to Akihabara station!”

    Station attendant: *in Japanese, while gesturing at the map emphatically* “I don’t know English, sorry. Please point where you are going.”

    American customer: *in English* “Stupid Asians. Just tell me how to get there!”

    (I intervene at this point, as I feel sorry for the poor station worker.)

    Me: *in Japanese* “He wants to get to Akihabara station. I know the way; I’ll explain it to him.”

    (I explain, in English, how to get to the station, and tell him the station attendant was trying but he doesn’t speak English.)

    American customer: *to me, in English* “These stupid Japs should learn English. Why couldn’t he tell me that?”

    Me: “When Asians visit your country, you expect them to speak English, right? So it’s only fair when you come here you try to use their language. Plus, he was trying to help you if you had just pointed it out on the map.”

    American customer: “Everyone should know English!”

    (He storms off without apologizing, or thanking me or the station worker.)

    Station attendant: *to me, in Japanese* “Thank you so much for helping. I didn’t know what to do.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it. He was just being rude. I feel like I should be apologizing for his behaviour on behalf of all foreigners.”

    Station attendant: “Oh, don’t worry, we get much worse. Then there are people like you who help convince me you’re not all bad. Thanks again!”

    Related:
    Shogun The Way To Go Home


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