• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    On Reflection, Best Not To Ask…

    | Erie, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    (I work at a store where we stuff animals for our guests. I am helping three sisters, one about 13, one 11, one 6, stuff their bears.)

    Me: “So, are you going to get clothes for your bear?”

    Youngest sister: “Maybe, I hope so!” *notices my name tag* “Hey! Your name is Emily. That’s my twin sister’s name!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s great!”

    (Youngest sister leaves and I help the middle sister, then the oldest.)

    Middle sister: “Oh, your name is Emily, that’s my uh, sister’s twins name.”

    Me: “Yeah, she told me that. Where is her sister, I didn’t see her?”

    Oldest sister: “She didn’t tell you?!” *yelling* “Hey [youngest sister], where does your twin live?”

    Youngest sister: “In the mirrors!”

    Don’t Pin Your Hopes On This One

    | Murfreesboro, TN, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am scanning a customer’s items and the screen prompts me to ask for her phone number.)

    Me: “Can I get your phone number please?”

    Customer: “1-2-3-4.”

    Me: *confused*

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you asked for my pin number.”

    Tickled Black

    , | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I have a complaint about this ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ toy.”

    Me: “Go ahead.”

    Customer: “I saw a few videos online that it’s really a “Tickle Me Emo”! How dare you try to teach kids to be emo!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those videos are fake and were created just for a laugh. That is a Tickle Me Elmo and it’s completely appropriate for kids.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *a few seconds later* “So, where can I find a ‘Tickle Me Emo’?”

    Love Isn’t As Priceless As It Used To Be

    | Little Rock, AR, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work in a toy store where customers can custom build their own stuffed animals. A father and young daughter approach.)

    Me: “Welcome to [toy store], have you picked out an animal to be stuffed today?”

    Little girl: “Yes!”

    (We proceed to stuff the bear and the little girl grabs one of the ‘push to talk’ buttons and hands it to me.)

    Me: “Okay, you want to get the I love you button put in today?”

    Father: “Hold on a second. Baby, what’s this thing?”

    Little girl: “He puts it in the bear for me and when you push it, it says I love you!

    Father: “How much does this thing cost?”

    Me: “Five dollars, sir.”

    Father: “S***! For five dollars, baby, I’ll tell you I love you! Go put that thing back.”

    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 2

    , | Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA | Uncategorized

    (At the front of our store is a bin full of loose fantasy figurines.  One night, two pre-teen boys come in and start rounding up all the fairy princesses they can find, naming each one after porn stars. They proceed to stage some pretty graphic stuff with the toys, complete with language and racial slurs.)

    Me: “You kids drop those toys, right now! This is a family story, you got it? You either clean your language up or get out of here. NOW!”

    (The boys stare at me open-mouthed. One of them squeaks, “Yes, ma’am,” and they both drop the toys and run.)

    Coworker:  “Wow! Way to go!”

    Me:  “Yeah, you don’t mess with the Toy Store Amazon.”

    We Need One Of These In Every Store

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