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    Talk The Talk, Balk The Walk

    | Richmond, VA, USA |

    (The customer has two daughters, each with their own set of clothes for their toys.)

    Customer, to one daughter: “Since your shoes match her purse, you girls can share the two between you.”

    Me, to the same daughter: “Oh, what a good idea! Do you always share with your sister?”

    Daughter: “Yeah, mom says, ‘Sharing is caring’.”

    Me, to the customer: “Ma’am, your total is [price]. Would you like to donate a dollar to our charity?”

    Customer: “No thanks, I’ve spent enough of my money today!”

    Over(bear)ing Demand

    , | Louisville, KY, USA |

    (A customer in his late 20s walks into the store looking confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “My niece is asking for something. I don’t know if it exists or not, but she asked for a rainbow colored bear that smells like fruit.”

    Me: “Actually, sir, I know exactly what you are talking about.”

    (I lead him to the girls section where there is a new toy bear in stock. It’s multicolored and is scented like bubble gum.)

    Me: “Here you go, sir!”

    Customer: “Oh, is this all you have?”

    Me: “Well, there are other bears but this is the only scented one.”

    Customer: “I’m just not sure this is it.”

    Me: “I can assure you sir, this is the only rainbow colored and fruit scented bear toy in the entire store.”

    We Live In That Kind Of Sue-ciety

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, did you find what you wanted today?”

    Customer: “Kind of. I would like to purchase this toy but there’s a problem.”

    Me: “And what is that?”

    Customer: “This toy doesn’t come with the manual.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, but most things sold here do not come with the manual. This is a second-hand store.”

    Customer: “I understand that. but you obviously do not understand what I’m saying to you. I need the manual before I can buy this.”

    Me: “And why is that, sir?”

    Customer: “If this toy bursts into flames, how am I going to know who to sue?”

    A Wii Bit Of Borderline Arrogance

    | New Hampshire |

    Customer: “Do you have any Wiis?”

    Me: “No sir, Wiis are all sold out.”

    (Customer pulls out a badge and flashes it briefly.)

    Customer: “You sure you don’t have any Wiis?”

    Me: “No sir, no Wiis. What exactly was that badge?”

    Customer: “Border Patrol.”

    (This being New Hampshire, I have to ask:)

    Me: “Which border?”

    Customer: “Canadian.”

    (Customer walks away with a self-important air.)

    Cultural Diversity Is A-Dora-ble

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (A customer wearing very affluent clothing walks over holding a “Dora the Explorer” plush doll.)

    Customer: “Hello, can you help me?”

    Me: “Certainly, what I can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I’m looking one of these, but in white.”

    Me: “Oh, you mean like this?” *shows the customer a similar plush toy but wearing a white dress*

    Customer: “NO! NO! One that is WHITE!”

    Me: *puzzled* “I’m sorry, but this is the only other one we have in stock…did you see it on our website? Was it another style of clothing?”

    Customer: “NO! WHITE, LIKE ME!” *points at her face*

    Me: “You mean…a Caucasian Dora?”

    Customer: “YES! Where do you have them?”

    Me: “Ma’am, Dora was designed to help people from different backgrounds come to understand their common ground; Dora therefore doesn’t come in a different skin tone. She is what she is.”

    Customer: “WHAT? That is RIDICULOUS! Give me a WHITE DORA!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but they simply don’t exist…”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere!” *storms out*

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