(I work in a toy store in a local mall. One day a man comes in and stands awkwardly to one side for a long while. I realize that something is…off about him, mentally. Finally, he approaches me.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”
Customer: “Have you seen Bellatrix Lestrange?”
Me: “We don’t carry any Harry Potter toys, but you might be able to find some Harry Potter stuff at Hot Topic.”
Customer: *looking completely serious* “No, I’m looking for Bellatrix. I’ve already killed Malfoy and now I’m looking for that b****.”
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(I am a customer in the video game section of a toy store. Another customer comes in and approaches an employee.)
Customer: “Do you have the dance dance game?”
Employee: “We might. For which system?”
Customer: “Dancing?”
Employee: “No. We need to know, because they only work on the system they were meant for.”
Customer: “It’s for the television.”
Employee: “Yes, but-”
Customer: “You put the thing on the floor and jump around like this!”
(The customer starts jumping around. It is actually a fairly good representation of playing ‘Dance Dance Revolution’.)
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(I’m stocking the shelves. A male customer with a small child of about four comes up to me and asks if there is a post office near by. I tell him there is one a couple of blocks away. He looks at the
clock, then takes his son’s hand and prepares to walk out of the store. The child doesn’t want to go.)
Customer: *to the child* “Come on, we need to go to the post office. It’ll close soon.”
Child: “I want to look at toys.”
Customer: “We have to go now. We can come back later.”
Child: “You go. I’ll wait here and play.”
Customer: “You can’t.”
Child: “Why?”
Customer: “Because your dad will go to jail for that.”
(The child looks perplexed.)
Customer: *trying to explain* “Think smaller Christmas present. And you’ll have to stay with Grandma a lot.”
Related:
Ah, Fathers, Part 4
Ah, Fathers, Part 3
Ah, Fathers, Part 2
Ah, Fathers
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(I work at a store where we stuff animals for our guests. I am helping three sisters, one about 13, one 11, one 6, stuff their bears.)
Me: “So, are you going to get clothes for your bear?”
Youngest sister: “Maybe, I hope so!” *notices my name tag* “Hey! Your name is Emily. That’s my twin sister’s name!”
Me: “Oh, that’s great!”
(Youngest sister leaves and I help the middle sister, then the oldest.)
Middle sister: “Oh, your name is Emily, that’s my uh, sister’s twins name.”
Me: “Yeah, she told me that. Where is her sister, I didn’t see her?”
Oldest sister: “She didn’t tell you?!” *yelling* “Hey [youngest sister], where does your twin live?”
Youngest sister: “In the mirrors!”
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