Customer: “I need to return this.”

Me: “I see that it’s been open and even played with. Mind if I ask what was wrong?”

Customer: “My son says it’s too difficult to play with.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but once again, this is clearly used, as it’s showing signs of wear. I’m afraid I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “You don’t understand. We have no use for this anymore! My son can’t play with it! It’s too difficult for him! Give me my money back!”

Me: “Well sir, the packaging for this toy does say it’s for ‘Ages 14 and Up’. How old is your son, anyway?”

Customer: “26.”

Related:
Age Is But A Number

(During the Christmas season, we managers at my store often work 12+ hour days. This day is one of them, and I have been there since 7:30 in the morning; it is now 8 pm. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Wow, you sure look tired. When did you start?”

Me: “7:30–”

Customer: “That’s the problem with today’s generation. Can’t work a full day without looking like they are falling asleep!”

Me: “AM, sir.”

Customer: “Oh…” *walks off with a blank stare on his face*

(I work in a toy shop where we sell giant Bratz dolls. A customer comes over with one and asked whether or not it would be suitable for her two year old daughter.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I wouldn’t recommend this doll for any child under the age of 6.”

Customer: “Why is this doll recommended for 6 years and over? My daughter’s two but she really wants one.”

Me: “Well, I can’t really recommend that you buy the doll for a younger child, but I suppose if you remove the earrings then there wouldn’t be any small parts.”

Customer: *looks the doll over* “Is it just because she’s dressed like a hooker?”

Me: “Your total will be [total price].”

Customer: “That seems a little high. Were the Imaginext items buy one, get one free?”

(I check the items and see if they’re scanning correctly in the register.)

Me: “Yes, they are, but you have 3 Imaginext items and one non-Imaginext item, so that won’t ring up on sale.”

Customer: “Well, they’re all in the same aisle!”

Me: “Well, yes, but just because one item is on sale doesn’t mean everything in the aisle is on sale as well.”

Customer: “Well, you should put that on your signs!”

Related:
Because 8 Bajillion Signs Are Always The Answer

(Overheard in the video game section of a toy store.)

Kid: “That’s the game!”

(The father picks it up to read it as his child waits impatiently.)

Kid: “That’s the one! Let’s go!”

Father: “Hang on. I need to see if this is the right game for you.”

Kid: “But it’s rated ‘E!’ ‘E’ stands for ‘Anybody!’”