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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    A Price Peddler

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (I put a lot of newly built bikes up on the racks. A customer comes in wanting to look at one of the new bikes.)

    Customer: “Can you pull that bike down? My son would like to try it.”

    Me: *pulls bike down* “Here you go.”

    (The customer’s son then rides the bike around the bike section for a minute and is pleased with it.)

    Customer: “How much is this bike?”

    Me: “It’s $79.99 in a box, or $89.99 assembled.”

    Customer: “Why is it more when it’s already together?”

    Me: “Well we have bike builders who put the bikes together. But we do have this bike in a box, so you can buy it in a box and then put it together.”

    Customer: “I think I should get a discount on this bike since it’s all dirty.”

    (The customer is talking about the tires since the bike has been ridden on the store floor, which has some dust on it.)

    Me: “Your child was the first person to ride this bike since it was built; we can wipe off the tires so that the dirt is off.”

    Customer: “No, it’s been used; look at it! I shouldn’t have to pay full price for a used item.”

    Me: “The bike builders just built this exact bike not too long ago, and I know for a fact that your son is the only one to ride this bike.”

    Customer: “So, you admit that it was used!”

    Me: “Only by your child.”

    Customer: “That’s why I should get a discount; it’s used! I want to see your manager!”

    (I call my manager who comes back to listen to the issue. My manager backs me up. The customer does eventually buy the bike, already put together, paying the additional $10.)

    The Female Of The Species Is More Playful Than The Male

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Rude & Risque

    (Our store has a name that could easily be that of an adult establishment. I happened to be in the back room when a customer calls.)

    Me: “[Store Name], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, do you have any male toys?”

    Me: “‘Mail’ as in toys that go in the mail, or toys for boys?”

    Caller: “Toys that go in the mail.”

    Me: “Well, we have a toy that can be sent like a postcard, otherwise—”

    Caller: “No, not toys that go in the M-A-I-L, toys that go in the M-A-L-E!”

    Me: “Uh… we sell children’s toys.”

    Caller: “Oh, oh darn! We’re looking for adult toys!”

    (The customer yells to someone not on the line.)

    Caller: “Hey Billy, they don’t have ‘em!”

    Me: “Good luck in your search!”

    (I am very glad it was me who answered, and not my younger, more innocent coworker!)

    Giving More Than His Two Cents

    | Hamden, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (A male customer buys nothing but a water and is checking out with me.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!” *big smile*

    Customer: “You too!”

    (The customer leaves with no issue and is gone for perhaps a minute before he comes storming back in the exit door.)

    Customer: “Did you charge me 5 cents for this water?” *waving receipt in the air*

    Me: “The water itself is two dollars and then we have the deposit fee.”

    (There is a 5-cent deposit on all beverages in my state. Period. You get it back when and if you recycle it at a machine that gives vouchers. It has been this way for as long as I can remember in my 22 years.)

    Customer: “So you charged me 5 cents?!”

    Me: “It’s not an extra five cents, Sir, there’s just a deposit.”

    Customer: “I want my 5 cents back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s a state law. All beverages have a 5 cent deposit.”

    Customer: “You can’t do that! It’s not displayed. I want my 5 cents back!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t give you a nickel, I’d be a nickel short in my till.”

    Customer: “You need to give me my 5 cents back! It isn’t on a sign! You have to have a sign about it!”

    Me: *shocked pause* “Let me call my manager… one second.”

    (A new manager approaches and asks what the problem is. As the customer is obviously irate, he takes him back to his office to talk, something you really aren’t meant to do. When their meeting is finished, the customer storms out of the office.)

    Manager: “I should have just given him the five cents. I think we just lost a customer.”

    Me: “…I think we can survive losing that particular customer.”

    Dinosaur-Brained

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, History, Pets & Animals, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, will my son like this for his birthday? He loves dinosaurs.”

    (I examine the gift; it’s a set of various plastic fossils.)

    Me: “Well, it depends on how into dinosaurs he is. If he just thinks they’re cool, then it’ll be fine. If he’s into palaeontology at all, though, he’ll be disappointed because none of those are actually dinosaurs.”

    Customer: “What? Don’t be stupid! He loves dinosaurs! I know what a dinosaur is!”

    Me: “Well, right there you have a Pterodactyl, two Synapsids including the famous Dimetrodon, a Plesiosaur, and a Tiktaalik. None of those are dinosaurs. They’re not even all reptiles, or Mesozoic.”

    Customer: “What do you know? God, you kids these days are so rude! I know what a dinosaur is.”

    (She buys the toy set and leaves in a huff. A week later, I’m working as a cashier when she comes back.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return this.” *shows me the very same fossil toy set*

    Me: “Oh, yes, I remember. Would you like me to help you find a dinosaur toy to get instead?”

    Customer: “You? God! Look, missy, he just didn’t like them because they weren’t scientifically accurate, okay? These are dinosaurs! They lived a thousand years ago! Do you think I’m stupid!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly are just as intelligent as you present yourself to be.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m glad you realise it.”

    The Karate Kid: Christmas Special

    | Kent, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Holidays, Themed Giveaway, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Is a few days before Christmas, and people are after their last few gifts. I’m stacking shelves when I see a confrontation between a man who is tall and obviously goes to the gym and a boy who is about nine years old.)

    Man: “Give me that toy! You’re only going to steal it!”

    Boy: “No, I got here first. You should have been more prepared.”

    Man: “Shut up you brat. I’m your elder. You should respect me. Just give me the toy or I’ll educate you!”

    (Note that the toy in question is big, enough so that the boy has to hold it with both hands. The man and the boy start struggling over it.)

    Man: “F***ing let go!”

    Boy: “NO!”

    (The man raises his fist and I quickly jump up to stop him. However, before I can, the boy kicks the man’s hand out the way and then kicks his legs out from under him, sending him crashing to the ground—all while still holding on to the toy.)

    Boy: “I’ll let you know what my sister thinks of the toy!”

    (The man quickly runs off, humiliated. It turns out the boy and I have the same karate instructor, and he was one grade behind me.)


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