They Start So Young

| San Jose, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A girl of about 8 years old is staring longingly at the display of stickers we have by the cash register.)

Girl: “I’d love to have some of these stickers, but I don’t have any money.” *sighs loudly*

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Girl: “…so are you going to give me some for free, or what?”

Me: “…”

No More Teddy In Beddy

, | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, what brings you into [toy store]?”

Customer: “Just looking around… all of my grandkids are too old for stuffed animals.”

Me: “There are a lot of adults who come in who collect them.”

Customer: “I saw a lot of college kids in here over the summer getting them.”

Me: “Actually, I have a stuffed animal that I sleep with every night.”

Customer: “You know what you need to do… you need to get yourself a man!”

Generosity Which Knows No Bounds

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(We were having a toy drive – if you bought and donated any $5 toy, you could receive 20% off your entire purchase. A woman wearing a fur coat was buying five bags of toys.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you be interested in donating a toy today? Since your total comes to $400, you’d save $80–”

Customer: *angrily* “My husband and I donate to CHARITY, so I don’t think I need to be guilt-tripped into your awful little toy drive!”

Me: “Your total is $400, then.”

Customer: “Is there any way I can get a discount?”

Me: “No…no, I’m afraid not.”

Exorcisms Not Included

, | Rochester, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I was a cashier at a popular toy store chain when a woman came up to the register with an opened Ouija board.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

Me: “Is there anything in particular that’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Well, no, it works. I’m returning it because it let evil spirits into my house!”

Me: *laughs*

Customer: “Why are you laughing? This game let spirits into my house, and I demand a refund!”

Me: “Uh, oh, alright then.” *I process the return*

Customer, on the way out: “You really shouldn’t be selling satanic toys like this. What if a demon had come through and possessed one of my children?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll definitely pass that on to management.”

I See Purple Triangles And Rainbows In Your Future

, | California, USA | Uncategorized

(A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)

Boy: “Can they mate?”

Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”

Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”

Me: “No, they’re all male.”

Boy: “So they can’t?”

Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”

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