Just Another Mild Mannered Horse

| New Hampshire, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I work in the barn, where I explain the rules of our corn maze. There are usually two or three horses in there as well, one of which is white.)

Customer: “That is a beautiful unicorn.”

Me: “He’s a handsome boy all right. Just missing the horn. You can pat him if you like.”

Customer: “But he is white, and strong like unicorn! They are very strong.”

Me: “He would make a very nice unicorn. He’s a Percheron, though, so no horn.”

Customer: “He must hide his horn, to protect! He cannot always be a unicorn!”

Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 3

| Kent, UK | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(During an audio/visual experience of the siege of 1216 within a castle, I am approached by a tourist.)

Tourist: “Excuse me, sir. Can you help me with a question?”

Me: “Of course. What would you like to know?”

Tourist: “Is the footage being shown actual live footage of the siege of 1216?”

Me: “You want to know if this video is showing actual footage of the siege of 1216?”

Tourist: “How silly of me. They only had black and white video back then, didn’t they?”

Related:
Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 2
Lack Of Grey Matter

A Model Perspective

| Devon, UK | Uncategorized

(A customer is visiting South Devon where there are a lot of tourist attractions including a very popular model village. He has just been on a tour and is now looking out over the town from a hillside.)

Customer: “You have a good view here. Is that the Model Village over there?”

Me: “No, sir. That is an example of perspective.”

Gives New Meaning To Family Tree

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(I work as an educator in a native American village. I am with a group of pre-schoolers.)

Me: “Believe it or not, the Lenape used to tie their babies to a board and hang them in a tree so the foxes wouldn’t get them!”

Child 1: “Do they still do that?”

Me: “No, they live just like we do today and don’t need to.”

Child 2: “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”

The Holy Ghost

| Hyde Park, London, UK | Religion, Uncategorized

Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”

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