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  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
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    Just Another Mild Mannered Horse

    | New Hampshire, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I work in the barn, where I explain the rules of our corn maze. There are usually two or three horses in there as well, one of which is white.)

    Customer: “That is a beautiful unicorn.”

    Me: “He’s a handsome boy all right. Just missing the horn. You can pat him if you like.”

    Customer: “But he is white, and strong like unicorn! They are very strong.”

    Me: “He would make a very nice unicorn. He’s a Percheron, though, so no horn.”

    Customer: “He must hide his horn, to protect! He cannot always be a unicorn!”

    Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 3

    | Kent, UK | Tourists/Travel

    (During an audio/visual experience of the siege of 1216 within a castle, I am approached by a tourist.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me, sir. Can you help me with a question?”

    Me: “Of course. What would you like to know?”

    Tourist: “Is the footage being shown actual live footage of the siege of 1216?”

    Me: “You want to know if this video is showing actual footage of the siege of 1216?”

    Tourist: “How silly of me. They only had black and white video back then, didn’t they?”

    Related:
    Lack Of Grey Matter, Part 2
    Lack Of Grey Matter

    A Model Perspective

    | Devon, UK |

    (A customer is visiting South Devon where there are a lot of tourist attractions including a very popular model village. He has just been on a tour and is now looking out over the town from a hillside.)

    Customer: “You have a good view here. Is that the Model Village over there?”

    Me: “No, sir. That is an example of perspective.”

    Gives New Meaning To Family Tree

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (I work as an educator in a native American village. I am with a group of pre-schoolers.)

    Me: “Believe it or not, the Lenape used to tie their babies to a board and hang them in a tree so the foxes wouldn’t get them!”

    Child 1: “Do they still do that?”

    Me: “No, they live just like we do today and don’t need to.”

    Child 2: “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”

    The Holy Ghost

    | Hyde Park, London, UK | Religion

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

    Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

    Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”


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