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    A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

    Customer: “Is there a café here?”

    Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Right next door.”

    Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

    Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

    Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

    Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

    Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

    (The customer walks out, looking confused.)

    Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

    Related:
    A Directionless Conversation

    No Escape From Stupid Moments

    | UK | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working in the shop at the entrance/exit to the attraction.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where are the nearest toilets?”

    Me: “Your best bet is to go back through then they’re in the cafe next door.”

    Customer: “Back inside the park?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ll let you back through.”

    Customer: “But then we won’t be able to get back out again, will we?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “If we go back through we won’t be able to get back out of the park again.”

    Me: *trying not to smile* “I assure you, you will.”

    Customer: “Wait, that was really stupid wasn’t it?”

    Wherever You Go, There US Are

    | Ireland | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a tour guide at a 15th century Irish castle. I am covering the desk when two tourists come through to exit.)

    Me: “Thank you for visiting. Did you enjoy your tour?”

    Tourist #1: “NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. May I ask why?”

    Tourist #1: “That tour guide talked funny.”

    Tourist #2: “Yeah, she had a funny accent.”

    Me: “You mean Irish?”

    Tourist #1: “Yeah, we didn’t understand a word she said.”

    Tourist #2: You shouldn’t have guides we can’t understand!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but this is Ireland.”

    Tourist #1:You don’t have an Irish accent!”

    Me: “I’m not from here, though.”

    (At this point, another tourist who has been waiting to be served speaks up.)

    Another Tourist: “Sorry, ladies, but you’re in Ireland in an Irish castle. What were you expecting?”

    Tourists #1 and #2: “Americans!”

    Love In The Time Of Customers

    | Texas, USA | Love/Romance

    (I work at a tourist company where we sell fishing trips.)

    Elderly Customer: “Do you have availability for this date?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’re booked until next week.”

    Elderly Customer: “And I bet if I asked for your phone number, you’d tell me ‘Sorry,’ too.”

    Me: *laughing* “Well, I’d tell you my husband might not approve of that!”

    Elderly Customer: “Husband? You have a husband? Those tend to get in the way! “

    Loonies Can You Drive Looney

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

    (I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

    Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

    Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”


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