Talking About A Whole Other Animal

| Trier, Germany | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(Trier is an ancient city with many Roman ruins. At the moment there is a traveling show in town showing lizards, snakes and amphibians. I’m on my way home.)

Tourist: “Excuse me. We are looking for the amphibian theater.”

Me: “The lizard show? It’s all the way on the other side of the city.”

Tourist: “No! The amphibian theater! The Roman gladiators!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the Amphitheater. Just 50 meters that way.”

Cross Examining Churches

| Saint John, NB, Canada | Religion, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(I don’t work in tourism though I must seem like a friendly person since I do get a lot of people stopping me to ask questions of where things are.)

Tourist: “Are you familiar with the area? Do you live around here?”

Me: “Yes I do, what can I help you with?”

Tourist: “I’m looking for a cathedral in this area somewhere.”

Me: “Okay, which one in particular? There’s about four around here.”

Tourist: “I’m looking for a Catholic cathedral.”

Me: “Okay, let me think…the Anglican church is that way, there’s one near by don’t know what it is, one over up the street a ways–”

Tourist: “I don’t want no Anglican church! Bloody Anglican whores! I want Catholic!”

Me: “I think it’s that one right over there.” *I point at the church*

Tourist: “Yes, that’s a cathedral. It had better not be Anglican or I’ll hunt you down!”