Me: “Ticketing services, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I have an issue. It keeps telling me that for delivery, for the tickets ‘will call’.”

Me: “Yes, that is an option for the tickets.”

Customer: “Yes, but will you call me, do I call you? How long do I have to wait?”

Me: “Oh! No, no…’will call’ means we hold the ticket at the box office and you pick it up at the show.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say that?!”

Customer: *referring to the recital hall* “Excuse me, can you direct me to your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “The Rectal Hall. I need to get into your Rectal Hall. Where is your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I sincerely doubt you want the answer to that question.”

Caller: *sighs* “Well, I’m glad somebody decided to answer the phone over there. I’ve been trying to get through to you all day, but all I get is a busy signal!”

Me: “Ma’am, the phone has barely rung here all day. Are you sure you were calling the right number?”

Caller: “What? Of COURSE I was! I was calling the number on this here invoice you all sent me last week.”

Me: “I see. Do you mind reading the phone number to me?”

Caller: “It’s 704-366…oh. Now wait a minute. That’s MY number. Well, no wonder I kept getting a busy signal. I’ve been calling myself all day long!”

(I’m selling tickets to a show of the High School Musical Tour.)

Customer: “I already have tickets; I just need meet and greet passes for my two girls.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have to get those from the PR people in the show.”

Customer: “I only need two, though.”

Me: “I understand, but we do not physically have any meet and greet passes here. You can only get them from the show.”

Customer: *snooty* “I’m from Summerlin, though.”

(Summerlin is an upscale, high class part of Las Vegas.)

Me: “Let me talk to my manager.”

(I walk to the back, count to ten and come back out.)

Me: “My manager said if you go into the show and talk to the PR people, they should have some for you.”

Customer: “Thank you!”