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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Bagged Herself A Steal

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m a college freshman working in a thrift store. The most expensive item in the shop is $10. I am straightening up a rack when I watch a customer go into a dressing room, then emerge from the dressing room wearing a completely different outfit and make for the door. I stop her.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am! You realize you’re going to have to pay for that, right?”

    Customer: “I know that! I’m not an idiot!”

    (The customer turns around and walks over to a bookshelf, as if that’s where she’d been headed all along. I go back to the rack, but watch her out of the corner of my eye. She slowly begins making her way towards the door again.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You still need to pay for that.”

    Customer: “I did.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I watched you. You went to the bookshelf and then tried to leave again.”

    Customer: “You were SPYING on me?! I want to talk to your manager!”

    (My manager, having heard the commotion, is already on his way over.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes. This little girl was spying on me and accused me of trying to shoplift my own clothes!”

    (I began to bristle and protest, but my manager shushes me and points to the customer’s pants. Or rather, to the price tag sticking out of the pocket. The woman looks down at it and then bolts for the door. I start after her, but my manager calls me back.)

    Manager: “Ah, let her go. She’s only wearing about $6 worth of merchandise anyway.”

    The Honesty Of The Thievery Pants

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A man comes in and starts looking through the clothes. He grabs a pair of pants, and starts fast-walking towards the door.)

    Coworker: “Sir, are you going to pay for those?”

    Man: “No.”

    Coworker: “Sir, we really need you to pay for those.”

    Man: “NO!”

    Me: “Please, sir! We need those back!”

    Man: “I need them more!”

    (The man bolts out the door. We look at each other for a moment dumbfounded, then burst out laughing.)

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99″.)

    Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

    (Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

    Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

    Me: “It’s $6.99.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

    (I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

    Me: “Yeah, really.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***.”

    (I love my work sometimes.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
    Caught Red-Handed

    Ink-conceivable

    | Virginia, USA |

    Customer: “Does this printer use ink?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And I have to buy the ink separate?”

    Me: “Yes, once the ink runs out. It actually costs quite a bit compared to the two dollars this used printer is priced at.”

    Customer: “Oh, well I don’t want that. Where can I get a printer that doesn’t use ink?”

    Ouch … Sorry, Fido

    , | California |

    Customer: “Are there any thrift stores around here that support cancer research?”

    Clerk: “No, I think the only ones in town support the humane society.”

    Customer: “Oh, we have asthma. We don’t want to support that.”

    Clerk: “…”

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