October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not The Kind Of Deal They Were Thinking Of

| MA, USA | Bizarre

(I have just rung up a customer for a cooking pot.)

Customer: “So how long have you been a pot dealer?”

Getting Belongings Where You Don’t Belong

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A woman approaches my register and slams a pile of clothes on the counter.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *giggles* “Yep. This trip was a steal!”

Me: “Well, we all get lucky, I guess.”

(One of the items doesn’t seem to have a price tag on it, so I ask her where she found it. She points at the back of the store. )

Customer: “It was in that side room you guys have.”

Me: *confused* “Side room? What are you talking about?

Customer: “That’s where you keep all the good stuff, right? There was a really cute scarf in there, too.”

(One of my coworkers, who is leaving for her lunch break, approaches the counter.)

Coworker: “Have you seen my scarf?”

Me: “What does it look like?”

Coworker: “It’s black, with pink stripes.”

(I hold up a scarf from the pile.)

Me: “This one?”

Coworker: “Yeah, where’d you find it?”

Me: *suddenly realizing what’s going on* “Ma’am, did you go into our staff room?”

Customer: “The side room? Yeah. That’s where I got this coat!”

(She holds up my coworker’s coat. I don’t know how, but she managed to open a locked room, with no one noticing, and took our stuff!)

Me: “Ma’am, these are not for sale. They’re our belongings.”

Customer: “You’re lying! You just want these for yourself!”

(She begins throwing clothes at me, knocking over racks, and making a mess of the store before running out and yelling about how our store is robbing their customers. She didn’t even buy anything!)

A Window To My Problems

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am a volunteer at a small charity thrift store. As there is a line at the cash, I am helping customers who want to see certain items while my coworker rings other people through.)

Customer: “Can I see that girl’s dress in the window?”

Me: “Sure! But just so you know, any items displayed in the windows can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I just want to see what size it is.”

(I go to the window and start to retrieve the only girl’s dress there.)

Customer: “No, that’s the wrong one! I said I want the baby dress in the window!”

(There are two baby dresses in the window.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Which one would you like to see? There are two baby dresses.”

Customer: “The one in the window!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but which of the two in the window would you like to see?”

Customer: *agitated* “The one in the window!”

(I take one of the dresses at random.)

Me: “Was it this one?”

Customer: “No, the other one!”

Me: “The dress you wanted to see is sized for 24 months.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll buy it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but items in the window can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “Well, how could I know that? You said earlier that things in the window aren’t until next week but how could I know I couldn’t buy the dress?!”

(At this point my coworker saw me getting frustrated and took over, pretending to sympathize with her to get her out the door. Later, that same coworker informed me that she recognized the woman as a problem customer from her days working at the local grocery store but couldn’t find a way to warn me in time!)

The Parrot Sketch, Part Two

| CA, USA | Pets & Animals

(I volunteer at a thrift store that donates it’s money to cancer research. All we sell are donated objects. A middle aged man comes in with a big bird cage filled with five live parrots.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir! We can’t take live animals.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. My babies are very well behaved.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s really not an option.”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “Listen a******, you have to take these flying sh**ters, because I’m sick of cleaning up poop!”

Me: “I’m sorry—”

Customer: “BE FREE, BIRDS!”

(He then opened the cage and all the birds flew out. My manager, two other coworkers, and I all scrambled around trying to capture them, sustaining many bites and scratches. By the time we did, two hours later, the man had gone. My manager had to then find a shelter that would take all the animals, and we all had to stay three hours late cleaning up bird crap.)

Getting Shirty Over The Jewels

| Waynesboro, VA, USA | Bizarre

(I am behind the jewelry counter at work.)

Customer: “Do you have a cleaning cloth so I can clean this jewelry?”

Me: *joking* “No, Ma’am, but I have my shirt”

(I laughed but then felt a hard jerk on my shirt. I was pulled half way across the jewelry counter. She was using the edge of my shirt to clean the jewelry. I was in awe but kept my mouth shut after and let her continue. I am so glad I have a good sense of humor. I was asking for it.)

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