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    Misery Demands Company

    | San Antonio, TX, USA |

    (I work at a food stand that only sells a few things. It’s early on a weekday and few people want to buy what I sell before dinnertime. There is a latin music show going on in the open-air theater across from me, and since I’ve already cleaned everything that can be cleaned and I am rather bored, I’m dancing to the music a bit. An old man walks up to my counter.)

    Me: *stops dancing* “Hi, what can I get you sir?”

    Customer: “You look like you’re having fun, young lady.”

    Me: “It’s pretty slow today, so we try to keep ourselves entertained. What would you like today?”

    Customer: “You’re not allowed to have fun when you work at a place like this. I would know. I worked at a place like this once.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Can I get you anything?”

    Customer: “No, just don’t have too much fun!”

    I Am The Robot, Goo Goo G’joob

    | Vallejo, CA, USA |

    (I work in the walrus exhibit at the park answering questions about the animals. One of our four walruses has metal caps on her teeth because she scrapes them on the ground constantly.)

    Guest: “Hey, I have a question about the walrus with the metal teeth.”

    Me: “Ah, yes. That is an interesting story! See, she–”

    Guest: “So, why is that walrus a robot?”

    Me: “Sorry, what? A robot?”

    Guest: “Yeah, that’s the only one with metal teeth. You can tell it is a robot. Why would you put a robot walrus in with the real ones? Or are they all robots?”

    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

    Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

    Related:
    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

    Doesn’t Take A Genus

    | Orlando, FL, USA |

    (A father and his young daughter were at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

    Daughter: “What animals are these?”

    Father: “I don’t know honey, I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

    Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

    Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

    Tron’s Legacy

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

    Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

    Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”


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