July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Age Before Snooty

| MA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am dealing with a bratty 15-year-old girl, who’s dissatisfied with her caricature that my coworker drew of her. She’s obnoxiously making a big scene in front of a crowd.)

Me: “We can have another artist redraw it for you if you’d like.”

Girl: “Whatever! You are all just jealous because you’re old!”

Me: “Well, you’ll be our age someday.”

Girl: “Not if I die young!”

Me: *placidly* “We can only hope.”

He Is Twice The Man

| Orlando, FL, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

(For the Halloween season, we’re running several horror houses, which aren’t otherwise open throughout the year. Light-up devices aren’t allowed inside any of the houses, and as a queue supervisor, I’ve been warning people of this via a cute spiel I made up.)

Me: “There are no light-up devices allowed inside. It will make it easier to find you, and you will be eaten alive most violently!”

(At this point, a guest, who seems to have had both legs amputated and is in a wheelchair, speaks up.)

Guest: “But I’ve already been half-eaten!”

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

Guest: “Excuse me?”

Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

Related:
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

Must Be This Smart To Ride

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids

(A theme park guest and her son want to board a ride. I check the boy’s height to make sure he can ride it, but sadly he is about four inches too short.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Your son isn’t tall enough to ride.”

Guest: “What do you mean? Your sign says he can ride with a responsible person.”

Me: “The sign also says he must be a certain height to ride.”

Guest: “No, it doesn’t. Fix your sign now!”

(I take the guest and her son out to the entrance of the attraction, and show her word for word the ride requirements.)

Guest: “Well, this is outrageous!”

Guest’s Little Boy: “Gosh mom, can’t you read? Do you want me to die?!”

Guest: *storms off angrily*

Guest’s Little Boy: *to me, while being led away* “Have a good day! Bye!”

Can’t Hide That You Lied About The Ride

| MN, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

Me: “Sorry, can I double check your son’s height? I just want to make sure he’s tall enough.”

Guest: “Ugh, all right! [Son], stand against the sign.” *to me* “He’s been on this one before. He loves it! It’s his favorite ride.”

(The guest’s son is just tall enough to ride, so I let them in. I run the ride, but notice that her son is noticeably frightened. As they get off the ride, I decide to question the guest.)

Me: “Is it still his favorite ride?”

Guest: “What?! No! He’s never been on this one before!”

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