Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,943 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Too Hot To Give A Hoot

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I work at an amusement park where one of my jobs is to hand out 3D glasses and entertain guests before the show. A guest and his wife come up the queue on a particularly hot day.)

    Me: *handing them glasses* “Here you are! Enjoy the show.”

    Guest: “This is a 3D movie?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Guest: “And it’s inside?’

    Me: “Yeah, and it’s air conditioned, so it’s definitely worth it.”

    Guest: “What’s it about?”

    Me: “It’s a ten minute movie about dinosaurs.”

    Guest Wife: “I don’t care if y’all got a hooters show in there. If it’s air conditioned, we’re going!”

    Liar, Liar, Hand’s On Fire

    | CA, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (Our theme park has designated smoking areas. I have just rounded a corner and see a guest smoking in a non-designated spot near a children’s play area. She spots me quickly and hides the cigarette in her hand.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a non-smoking area. I can show you to one of our designated smoking areas just a short distance away.”

    Guest: “I wasn’t smoking! That is a very rude accusation to make!”

    (Meanwhile, smoke has been drifting out from between her fingers where she has cupped her hand around the still-lit cigarette.)

    Me: “Then it appears your hand is on fire. I can take you to one of our emergency medical stations. They’re conveniently located next to our designated smoking areas.”

    Guest: *deadpan* “Yes, that’s it. Oh no, my hand! Please show me to medical station!”

    (I lead her towards the medical station. As soon as she sees the smoking area, she peels off without a word and goes there to finish her cigarette.)

    Please, No Free, Unlimited Questions

    | Santa Claus, IN, USA |

    (I’m a cashier at an amusement park that has a special deal involving free unlimited drinks.)

    Customer: “How many free, unlimited soft drinks can I have?”

    Me: *thinking I misheard him* “How many free, unlimited soft drinks can you have?”

    Customer: *nods*

    Me: “Sir, since our soft drinks are both free and unlimited, you can have as many as you want.”

    Customer: *visibly brightens* “Thanks!”

    Momma Knows Best

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids

    Me: “It sounds like the fireworks are just starting. I can hear them.”

    Boy: “Good, that means we can go on the big ride next door! All the dumb people will watch the fireworks when they could be riding the—”

    Boy’s Mother: *chiding her son* “Now, now, they’re not ‘dumb people.’ They’re ‘suckers.’”

    From Wrong To Wronger

    | Mason, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

    (I’m working a game when an older man approaches me with his kid. Please note that I am 15 years old.)

    Guest: “Hey, so it’s my son’s 15th birthday and I really need your help to give him his birthday spankings.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Guest: “No, really, I need your help to give him his birthday spankings. I’ll hold him, you spank him!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not going to do that. That’s guest assault!”

    Guest: “Oh, c’mon! No it’s not! Look, will you marry me? Will you have my kids?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m 15 too!”

    Guest: “Oh.” *takes off at a very fast pace*


    Page 7/16First...56789...Last