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    They Crossed The Line

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (A group of girls is cutting people in a long line for a roller coaster. They try and cut the guy behind me.)

    Guy Behind Me: “Woah, hold up!”

    Group Of Girls: “Excuse me!”

    Guy Behind Me: “I’m not letting you cut me!”

    (Everyone in line who has been cut starts to side with the guy behind me. The girls start screaming when out of nowhere, a security guard appears.)

    Security Guard: *to one of the girls* “Ma’am, please come with us.”

    (The security guard escorts the group of girls out of the line.)

    Guy Behind Me: “Na na na na, na na na na!”

    Everyone In Line: “Hey hey hey, Goodbye!”

    Age Before Snooty

    | MA, USA |

    (I am dealing with a bratty 15-year-old girl, who’s dissatisfied with her caricature that my coworker drew of her. She’s obnoxiously making a big scene in front of a crowd.)

    Me: “We can have another artist redraw it for you if you’d like.”

    Girl: “Whatever! You are all just jealous because you’re old!”

    Me: “Well, you’ll be our age someday.”

    Girl: “Not if I die young!”

    Me: *placidly* “We can only hope.”

    He Is Twice The Man

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

    (For the Halloween season, we’re running several horror houses, which aren’t otherwise open throughout the year. Light-up devices aren’t allowed inside any of the houses, and as a queue supervisor, I’ve been warning people of this via a cute spiel I made up.)

    Me: “There are no light-up devices allowed inside. It will make it easier to find you, and you will be eaten alive most violently!”

    (At this point, a guest, who seems to have had both legs amputated and is in a wheelchair, speaks up.)

    Guest: “But I’ve already been half-eaten!”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “Excuse me?”

    Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

    Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

    Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

    Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

    Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Must Be This Smart To Ride

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids

    (A theme park guest and her son want to board a ride. I check the boy’s height to make sure he can ride it, but sadly he is about four inches too short.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Your son isn’t tall enough to ride.”

    Guest: “What do you mean? Your sign says he can ride with a responsible person.”

    Me: “The sign also says he must be a certain height to ride.”

    Guest: “No, it doesn’t. Fix your sign now!”

    (I take the guest and her son out to the entrance of the attraction, and show her word for word the ride requirements.)

    Guest: “Well, this is outrageous!”

    Guest’s Little Boy: “Gosh mom, can’t you read? Do you want me to die?!”

    Guest: *storms off angrily*

    Guest’s Little Boy: *to me, while being led away* “Have a good day! Bye!”

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