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    Best Just To Let It Slide

    | UK | Extra Stupid

    (I work on the rides at a small theme park. We swap round every so often because you’d go mad working in the same place all day. To reach the top of the water slide, we have to go up the same way the customers do. Ideally, customers should queue either side of the ramp, one queue for each of the two types of slides as indicated by the signs, then we’d walk up the space in the middle. It’s not always that easy, though.)

    Me: “Excuse me, please.”

    (As I walk up the space in the middle, most customers move to the side when they turn and see I’m in uniform. One woman, however, appears to ignore me.)

    Me: “Sorry, excuse me please.”

    Customer: “There’s a queue.”

    Me: “Yes, I know; I work here. Sorry about the wait. It shouldn’t take long from here. If I could just squeeze past?”

    Customer: “No! You can wait like everyone else. So rude. Trying to push in!” *begins ranting*

    (The customer’s husband turns around to see what his wife is ranting about and starts laughing.)

    Customer’s Husband: “Hun, let her past.”

    Customer: “What? No way!”

    Customer’s Husband: “Well, we’re not going to get very far if you don’t. She’s the one that’s operating the ride.”

    Customer: *turns around, goes bright red, and steps out of my way*

    (I laugh and thank her husband before carrying on. She looked quite embarrassed to see me operating the water slide by the time it got to her go!)

    They Crossed The Line

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (A group of girls is cutting people in a long line for a roller coaster. They try and cut the guy behind me.)

    Guy Behind Me: “Woah, hold up!”

    Group Of Girls: “Excuse me!”

    Guy Behind Me: “I’m not letting you cut me!”

    (Everyone in line who has been cut starts to side with the guy behind me. The girls start screaming when out of nowhere, a security guard appears.)

    Security Guard: *to one of the girls* “Ma’am, please come with us.”

    (The security guard escorts the group of girls out of the line.)

    Guy Behind Me: “Na na na na, na na na na!”

    Everyone In Line: “Hey hey hey, Goodbye!”

    Age Before Snooty

    | MA, USA |

    (I am dealing with a bratty 15-year-old girl, who’s dissatisfied with her caricature that my coworker drew of her. She’s obnoxiously making a big scene in front of a crowd.)

    Me: “We can have another artist redraw it for you if you’d like.”

    Girl: “Whatever! You are all just jealous because you’re old!”

    Me: “Well, you’ll be our age someday.”

    Girl: “Not if I die young!”

    Me: *placidly* “We can only hope.”

    He Is Twice The Man

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

    (For the Halloween season, we’re running several horror houses, which aren’t otherwise open throughout the year. Light-up devices aren’t allowed inside any of the houses, and as a queue supervisor, I’ve been warning people of this via a cute spiel I made up.)

    Me: “There are no light-up devices allowed inside. It will make it easier to find you, and you will be eaten alive most violently!”

    (At this point, a guest, who seems to have had both legs amputated and is in a wheelchair, speaks up.)

    Guest: “But I’ve already been half-eaten!”

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “Excuse me?”

    Ride Operator: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “Where’s the VIP line of this ride?”

    Ride Operator: *confused* “VIP line for what, sir?”

    Guest: “For us, the Americans. Where’s the VIP line for the Americans?”

    Ride Operator: “We don’t have a VIP line sir for Americans… or anyone.”

    Guest: *huffs* “Well, you should!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat


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