November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

A Text In The Wrong Direction

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

Common Knowledge Has Deserted You

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

(We get a lot of people from different countries or other states who know nothing about Texas.)

Tourist: “So is the Alamo like out in the desert or something?”

Me: “Oh, have ya’ll not been downtown yet? It’s pretty much smack dab in the middle of the city.”

Tourist: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s not like in the movie. The city has grown around it,. It’s actually one of the more boring missions that’s pretty much completely covered by urban sprawl. I you want to see more traditional missions you should try San Jose or the other ones in the National Park areas.”

(They’re silent for awhile while I guess they’re having trouble with the term ‘missions.’)

Tourist: “Where’s your desert, anyway?”

Me: “Um… Like, 400 miles west of here?”

Tourist: “So, we’re not in Texas yet?”

No Wonder She Ran Away

, | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in one of the gift shops at a popular UK theme park. One day I notice a little girl, probably no older than eight, wandering around our shop unattended quite late in the day.)

Me: “Hi sweetie, are you all right there?”

(The girl just bursts into tears.)

Girl: “I’ve lost my mummy and daddy!”

Me: “Okay, okay. Well, don’t worry; I’ll help you look for them.”

(I take her over to a stool we’ve been using to stock up and get her sat down. I let my coworker know to inform security so they can issue a park announcement and come take over the situation.)

Me: “Now, here’s some tissues, and some water. Do you like sweets?”

Girl: “Yeah. Coke bottles are my favourite.”

Me: “Me, too! Tell you what: you clear up those tears, and we’ll fill up a pick’n’mix bucket for you, okay?”

(She smiles a bit and nods, and starts blowing her nose. About 10 minutes pass, and the girl has calmed a little bit. I’m told that security are all of a few minutes away, when a couple come into the shop.)

Mother: “[Girl], there you are! How DARE you run away from us!”

Girl: “I got stuck behind some people—”

Father: “Don’t you interrupt your mother, you little cow!”

Me: “Ah, excuse me? I take it you’re this little girl’s parents?”

(They both look at me with a mix of disgust and shock.)

Mother: “What’s it to you?”

Me: “Well, I’m not a parent, but if I’d lost my daughter I wouldn’t be insulting and yelling at her, especially since she’s literally just stopped crying.”

Father: “You rude little s***! Who do you think you are?!”

(The father gets a tap on the shoulder by the security team that has just arrived.)

Security Guy #1: “Well at a guess, I’d say this is the staff member who found your daughter and has been looking after her.”

(The girl holds up her bucket of cola bottles, squashed down as far as we can get them.)

Girl: “He let me have all of these sweets!”

Mother: “We better not have to pay for them!”

(I just about hold my tongue, but the security guys say what I am thinking.)

Security Guy #2: “Are you for real? You lose your kid and you’re worried about paying for a bunch of cola bottles?!”

Security Guy #1: “Tell you what: any complaints or questions you have we’ll sort out at the security office with all the other paper work, and let these guys get back to their jobs.”

(Just as they left, the girl gave me a hug and said ‘thank you.’ I don’t know what happened to her, but I hope the parents eventually saw sense as to what’s important in life.)

This Customer Is Not From Concentrate

, | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have three flavours of slushy in our slushy machine: raspberry, cherry and orange. Raspberry is blue, cherry is pink and orange is obviously orange. Customers usually refer to the slushy they want by the colors.)

Customer: “What flavour is the orange slushy?”

Me: “Orange flavoured.”

Customer: “I know what the color is, I want to know the FLAVOUR.”

Me: “It’s orange flavoured, ma’am, just like the fruit.”

(The customer suddenly starts screaming at me.)


(The customer’s daughter chimes in.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Mum! It’s like orange juice! Chill out!”

Woman: “Orange juice? Jeez, why couldn’t she just tell me that?! Two of those, please!”

(The customer is perfectly pleasant with me for the rest of the transaction, and wanders off with her slushy happily!)

One Ring To Scare Them All

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre

(I am working in a gift shop full of customers, mostly teenagers on field trips and their chaperones. I notice four boys as they walk in, and I greet them. They do not respond. A few minutes later, I begin adjusting some misplaced personalized rings.)

Boy #1: *pointing to a ring I am adjusting* “AAAHHH!”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy #1: *points again* “AAAAHHHH!”


Me: “Alright, how may I help you? Is there something I can get for you?”


Me: “Uh, okay…I can call somebody to help you.”

(The four boys stare at me, then slink away towards the door, almost without a word.)

Boy #3: “AAAAAHHH!” *all four exit*

(Several minutes later, all of the customers have left my shop and I begin adjusting the rings and key-chains again. I hear a voice behind me.)

Boy #4: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: *turning around* “Yes?”

Boy #4: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me if—AAAAAHHH!” *bolts from the store*