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    This Customer Is Not From Concentrate

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have three flavours of slushy in our slushy machine: raspberry, cherry and orange. Raspberry is blue, cherry is pink and orange is obviously orange. Customers usually refer to the slushy they want by the colors.)

    Customer: “What flavour is the orange slushy?”

    Me: “Orange flavoured.”

    Customer: “I know what the color is, I want to know the FLAVOUR.”

    Me: “It’s orange flavoured, ma’am, just like the fruit.”

    (The customer suddenly starts screaming at me.)

    Woman: “WHAT IS THE FLAVOUR! I CAN SEE THE COLOR OF THE D*** THING! WHAT FLAVOUR IS IT?!”

    (The customer’s daughter chimes in.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mum! It’s like orange juice! Chill out!”

    Woman: “Orange juice? Jeez, why couldn’t she just tell me that?! Two of those, please!”

    (The customer is perfectly pleasant with me for the rest of the transaction, and wanders off with her slushy happily!)

    One Ring To Scare Them All

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre

    (I am working in a gift shop full of customers, mostly teenagers on field trips and their chaperones. I notice four boys as they walk in, and I greet them. They do not respond. A few minutes later, I begin adjusting some misplaced personalized rings.)

    Boy #1: *pointing to a ring I am adjusting* “AAAHHH!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Boy #1: *points again* “AAAAHHHH!”

    Boy #2: “AAAAAAHHHH!”

    Me: “Alright, how may I help you? Is there something I can get for you?”

    All Four Boys: “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

    Me: “Uh, okay…I can call somebody to help you.”

    (The four boys stare at me, then slink away towards the door, almost without a word.)

    Boy #3: “AAAAAHHH!” *all four exit*

    (Several minutes later, all of the customers have left my shop and I begin adjusting the rings and key-chains again. I hear a voice behind me.)

    Boy #4: “Uh, excuse me?”

    Me: *turning around* “Yes?”

    Boy #4: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me if—AAAAAHHH!” *bolts from the store*

    Face Value

    | FL, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (The face paint we use at the theme park is water-based, and I have to put it away during one of our seasonal storms. I am currently drying off my station so that I can get back to painting faces.)

    Customer: “Hi, my daughter would like a face paint.”

    Me: “Certainly! Go ahead and pick your paint from the book, and I should be all set up by the time you decide.”

    Customer: “Sounds great!”

    (The customer and her daughter bypass the book and just look at our back wall display instead. The customer sets up all of her stuff right next to our price sign and display, showing the credit cards we accept. I overhear them making their decision.)

    Me: “I’m ready whenever you are! I think I heard somebody wanting a Unicorn Mask?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Yeah!”

    Customer: “It’s a bit too much…”

    Customer’s Daughter: “But mooooommm!”

    Me: “I can scale it back to a lower-priced version that I think you would both be happy with.”

    Customer: “I think that could work.”

    (I proceed to make the custom face paint, and add all the little touches that they ask for as I go along. When I finish I show, the customer and her daughter are happy with it.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

    Customer: “What? You have to pay?!”

    (I point to the credit card and price sign that she’s been standing next to the entire time.)

    Customer: “Geez, no wonder you were so accommodating!”

    (She throws the money at me and storms away in a huff, complaining about having to pay for a face paint.)

    Lightning Fast Sarcasm

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at an outdoor log flume attraction in a theme park. We have just closed the line, and are not letting anyone else in due to there being lightning nearby.)

    Guest: “Do you know when the ride will open again? When can I come back?”

    Me: “The best answer I can give you is whenever the storm passes.”

    Guest: “And when will that be?”

    Me: “…ma’am, I don’t know. It’s a storm.”

    Guest: “Well, you live here! You should know how long the storms in Orlando last!”

    Me: “Well, we had a storm yesterday that lasted ten minutes, and one the day before that lasted three hours, so I’d say come back between ten minutes and three hours.”

    Guest: *sarcastically* “Thanks for the help!” *storms off*

    Not Quite The Happiest Place On Earth

    | France | Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Guest: “The waiting times are horribly long! There are too many people!”

    Me: “Well this is a famous park; a lot of people want to spend time here with their family.”

    Guest: “Well, you should not let so many people in. Look around: there are so many people.”

    Me: “We have a security maximum that has not been reached yet. I believe you are a visitor too. Would you have liked for you and your family to be stopped at the entrance after miles of travelling because there are a lot of people in?”

    Guest: “Of course not! I paid to come here, and we have wanted to come here for a long time!”

    Me: “Well, so do all these people…”

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