October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Do As I Say, Not As I Play

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A little girl approaches me by herself.)

Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

(She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

21st Century Courtship

| San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(I am an 18 year old male. I’m working one of the rides when a younger male comes up to me.)

Teenager: “Hi.”

Me: “Hey.”

Teenager: “Will you hug my little sister?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Teenager: “It’s a dare, just hug her!”

Me: “No thank you?”

Teenager: “Why not?”

Me: “I might getting arrested for pedophilia.”

Teenager: “What?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Teenager: “You’re gay aren’t you? I bet you’re gay. That’s why you won’t do it!””

Me: “That’s it, I’m gay. I don’t want to hug your sister because I’m gay.”

Teenager: “Oh. Will you hug me, then?”

Completely Immersed In The Lesson

| Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School, Uncategorized

(I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

Mother: “ Who are you?”

Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

How To Balls Up Simple Math

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “How much to play?”

Me: “Two dollars for three balls.”

Customer: “How much for three people?”

Me: “Same price, so six dollars.”

Customer: “How about five dollars for us all to have one ball?”

Me: “Well, I’m getting the better end of that deal. So of course!”

Customer: “Thanks. The boss doesn’t have to know.”

Got Brains?

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(I am offering free ‘Got Milk?’ samples at a state fair.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Would you like to try some milk?”

Customer: “No way! I don’t drink that kind of milk!”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘That kind of milk’?”

(The customer points to my sign.)

Customer: “Goat milk!”

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