October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Doesn’t Take A Genus

| Orlando, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A father and his young daughter were at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

Daughter: “What animals are these?”

Father: “I don’t know honey, I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

Tron’s Legacy

| Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

Girl: “No.”

Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”

Telling A Tall Tale

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”

Bird Brained, Part 7

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I overhear a group of teenagers talking while looking at the penguin exhibit.)

Teenager 1: “What exactly is a penguin?”

Teenager 2: “Are you that stupid? A penguin is a fish!”

Teenager 2: “No. A penguin is an amphibian. You know, like frogs.”

Teenager 1: “You know guys I think penguins are mammals, because they got fur. ”

Me: *addressing everybody at exhibit* “The penguin is a unique bird that can ‘fly’ in the water.”

Teenager 2: *after looking at his friends in awe* “I still think it’s a fish.”

Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 6

Seriously, It’s Just A Joke

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I am loading guests onto boats at my ride, on which everybody gets wet and all seats are red, when my boss makes a joke over the intercom.)

Boss: “If you’re in a red seat, you will get wet. The red seats are the wet seats. The blue seats are the dry seats.”

Guest: “I’d like a blue seat, please.”

Me: (gesturing at the boat) “All the seats are red.”

Guest: “But I don’t want to get wet.”

Me: “This is a water ride. You will get wet.”

Guest: “Not in a blue seat. He just said.”

Me: “He was making a joke. See? All the seats are red.”

Guest: “Okay.” *pause* “Which seats are the dry seats, then?”

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