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    21st Century Courtship

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am an 18 year old male. I’m working one of the rides when a younger male comes up to me.)

    Teenager: “Hi.”

    Me: “Hey.”

    Teenager: “Will you hug my little sister?”

    Me: “Pardon me?”

    Teenager: “It’s a dare, just hug her!”

    Me: “No thank you?”

    Teenager: “Why not?”

    Me: “I might getting arrested for pedophilia.”

    Teenager: “What?”

    Me: “Nothing.”

    Teenager: “You’re gay aren’t you? I bet you’re gay. That’s why you won’t do it!””

    Me: “That’s it, I’m gay. I don’t want to hug your sister because I’m gay.”

    Teenager: “Oh. Will you hug me, then?”

    Completely Immersed In The Lesson

    | Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

    Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

    Mother: “ Who are you?”

    Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

    Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

    How To Balls Up Simple Math

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Money

    Customer: “How much to play?”

    Me: “Two dollars for three balls.”

    Customer: “How much for three people?”

    Me: “Same price, so six dollars.”

    Customer: “How about five dollars for us all to have one ball?”

    Me: “Well, I’m getting the better end of that deal. So of course!”

    Customer: “Thanks. The boss doesn’t have to know.”

    Got Brains?

    | Virginia, USA |

    (I am offering free ‘Got Milk?’ samples at a state fair.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. Would you like to try some milk?”

    Customer: “No way! I don’t drink that kind of milk!”

    Me: “What do you mean, ‘That kind of milk’?”

    (The customer points to my sign.)

    Customer: “Goat milk!”

    Short-Sighted Fathers

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Top

    (A man and his son walks into the guest services office.)

    Customer: “The rides person won’t let my son get on the pirate ship ride.”

    Me: “Your son doesn’t appear to be tall enough. Will you have him stand by the height chart for me?”

    (I measure the child and he is a good two inches shorter than the height requirement for the pirate ride.)

    Me: “Sir, your son is not within the height category. He cannot legally ride the ride.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just stamp his hand and let him get on since I said it was okay?”

    Me: “No sir, that is illegal. Your son will not be safe on that ride as the restraints are not built for smaller riders. We do have a kid’s version of that ride.”

    Customer: “I’m going to get my wife. She’s wearing heels today. He can just put those on and be tall enough.”

    Me: “Any shoes that are more than two inches thick need to be removed before we can measure the child, so that won’t work.”

    Son: “Daddy, why can’t we ride the rides?”

    Customer: “Because that horrible lady thinks you’re a midget.”


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