November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

I Am The Robot, Goo Goo G’joob

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in the walrus exhibit at the park answering questions about the animals. One of our four walruses has metal caps on her teeth because she scrapes them on the ground constantly.)

Guest: “Hey, I have a question about the walrus with the metal teeth.”

Me: “Ah, yes. That is an interesting story! See, she–”

Guest: “So, why is that walrus a robot?”

Me: “Sorry, what? A robot?”

Guest: “Yeah, that’s the only one with metal teeth. You can tell it is a robot. Why would you put a robot walrus in with the real ones? Or are they all robots?”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

Doesn’t Take A Genus

| Orlando, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A father and his young daughter were at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

Daughter: “What animals are these?”

Father: “I don’t know honey, I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

Tron’s Legacy

| Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

Girl: “No.”

Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”

Telling A Tall Tale

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”