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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Seriously, It’s Just A Joke

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I am loading guests onto boats at my ride, on which everybody gets wet and all seats are red, when my boss makes a joke over the intercom.)

    Boss: “If you’re in a red seat, you will get wet. The red seats are the wet seats. The blue seats are the dry seats.”

    Guest: “I’d like a blue seat, please.”

    Me: (gesturing at the boat) “All the seats are red.”

    Guest: “But I don’t want to get wet.”

    Me: “This is a water ride. You will get wet.”

    Guest: “Not in a blue seat. He just said.”

    Me: “He was making a joke. See? All the seats are red.”

    Guest: “Okay.” *pause* “Which seats are the dry seats, then?”

    Do As I Say, Not As I Play

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids

    (A little girl approaches me by herself.)

    Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

    Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

    Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

    Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

    (She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

    Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

    Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

    21st Century Courtship

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am an 18 year old male. I’m working one of the rides when a younger male comes up to me.)

    Teenager: “Hi.”

    Me: “Hey.”

    Teenager: “Will you hug my little sister?”

    Me: “Pardon me?”

    Teenager: “It’s a dare, just hug her!”

    Me: “No thank you?”

    Teenager: “Why not?”

    Me: “I might getting arrested for pedophilia.”

    Teenager: “What?”

    Me: “Nothing.”

    Teenager: “You’re gay aren’t you? I bet you’re gay. That’s why you won’t do it!””

    Me: “That’s it, I’m gay. I don’t want to hug your sister because I’m gay.”

    Teenager: “Oh. Will you hug me, then?”

    Completely Immersed In The Lesson

    | Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

    Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

    Mother: “ Who are you?”

    Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

    Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

    How To Balls Up Simple Math

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Money

    Customer: “How much to play?”

    Me: “Two dollars for three balls.”

    Customer: “How much for three people?”

    Me: “Same price, so six dollars.”

    Customer: “How about five dollars for us all to have one ball?”

    Me: “Well, I’m getting the better end of that deal. So of course!”

    Customer: “Thanks. The boss doesn’t have to know.”


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