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    Tron’s Legacy

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)

    Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”

    Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”

    Telling A Tall Tale

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids

    (I work on a ride with a height restriction of 1.3 metres, and I have just rejected a young girl who was well under the restriction when her father storms up to me.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** did you say my daughter couldn’t come on your ride? She’s been queuing for nearly an hour!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the height restrictions are clearly stated in the brochure that you’re holding and at the beginning of the queuing area for the ride.”

    Customer: “I’ve paid for her to come into this park and you’re telling me she can’t go on the rides?”

    Me: “Sir, there are plenty of rides that she can go on that have lower height restrictions, but unfortunately she’s too small for this one.”

    Customer: “Well, she was tall enough last year!”

    Bird Brained, Part 7

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I overhear a group of teenagers talking while looking at the penguin exhibit.)

    Teenager 1: “What exactly is a penguin?”

    Teenager 2: “Are you that stupid? A penguin is a fish!”

    Teenager 2: “No. A penguin is an amphibian. You know, like frogs.”

    Teenager 1: “You know guys I think penguins are mammals, because they got fur. ”

    Me: *addressing everybody at exhibit* “The penguin is a unique bird that can ‘fly’ in the water.”

    Teenager 2: *after looking at his friends in awe* “I still think it’s a fish.”

    Related:
    Early Bird Brained
    Bird Brained
    Bird Brained, Part 2
    Bird Brained, Part 3
    Bird Brained, Part 4
    Bird Brained, Part 5
    Bird Brained, Part 6

    Seriously, It’s Just A Joke

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I am loading guests onto boats at my ride, on which everybody gets wet and all seats are red, when my boss makes a joke over the intercom.)

    Boss: “If you’re in a red seat, you will get wet. The red seats are the wet seats. The blue seats are the dry seats.”

    Guest: “I’d like a blue seat, please.”

    Me: (gesturing at the boat) “All the seats are red.”

    Guest: “But I don’t want to get wet.”

    Me: “This is a water ride. You will get wet.”

    Guest: “Not in a blue seat. He just said.”

    Me: “He was making a joke. See? All the seats are red.”

    Guest: “Okay.” *pause* “Which seats are the dry seats, then?”

    Do As I Say, Not As I Play

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids

    (A little girl approaches me by herself.)

    Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

    Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

    Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

    Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

    (She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

    Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

    Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

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