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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Different Cast, Same Script

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (When vacationing at this company’s theme parks, I am often asked questions as if I work there, even though I don’t dress or look like their typical employees. It may be just because I plan ahead and look like I know where I’m going. I am walking with my two sons, both of whom are under ten years old. Two 20-something guests approach:)

    Guest #1: “Excuse me, which direction does the parade come from?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m not a cast member.”

    Guest #1: “Huh? Then what do you do?”

    Me: “What?”

    Guest #2: “What DO you do for [Theme Park Company]?”

    (First and only time I’ve said ‘I’m not a Theme Park cast member,’ yet the guests still thought I MUST still work for the company!)

    Fairness Is Limited

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (Customers have the option of buying a single-ride coupon or an unlimited rides ticket. It’s a particularly busy day, and the queue line on my ride is over 45 minutes long. The ride has just finished and most people are exiting, except for two customers.)

    Me: “Hey, gentlemen, the exit is out that way, when you’re ready.”

    Customer #1: “We’re staying on for another go.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you will have to line up again to ride, especially since it’s so busy.”

    Customer #2: “But we have these.” *shows me his unlimited rides ticket* “See, unlimited.”

    Me: “Yes, you can go on multiple rides in the park, but you still have to line up every time. It’s only fair.”

    Customer #2: “But we have these!”

    Me: “As do most of the people in this queue, sir.”

    (On cue, most of the guests in the queue started waving their tickets at the pair. They finally left.)

    An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

    Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

    Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

    Customer: “What about the starfish?”

    Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

    Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

    Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

    (The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

    (The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

    Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

    (The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)

    It’s Scary What They Want Refunds For

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (A woman walks into our haunted house with her 10-year-old son, buying admission for the two of them. After she comes out, she storms over to me, a look of anger on her face.)

    Customer: “Refund. Now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, as you can see by this sign, we have a strict ‘No Refund’ policy.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I want my money back, and I want it now! I want to speak with the manager of this place.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I am the manager.”

    Customer: “Well, then you can give me a refund.”

    Me: “Before we take this any further, I’d like to know why you want a refund.”

    Customer: “Do you have any idea how bad this place scared my child? He was terrified!”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I certainly cannot give you a refund.”

    Customer: “Oh? Why’s that?”

    Me: “You see, ma’am, this is a haunted house. Our job here is to scare and frighten everyone who comes in here. You said you son was scared when he went in. Then you got what you paid for.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t think it would scare him THAT bad!”

    Me: “Then we’ve exceeded expectations.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! You scared a little ten year old boy to death!”

    Me: “As I stated, that is our job. It is up to the family of children to decide whether the child should go in or not.”

    Customer: “I think it would be up to the workers here to not scare a child who’s coming through!”

    Me: “Then they wouldn’t be doing their job, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, I can’t get a refund?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “You should change the policy about refunds, then.”

    Me: “I have no power to do that. I’m the manager, but not the owner. And he has told us that if we were to give out refunds, we would have no profit, because people would abuse the refunds right. This is why we can’t do it.”

    Customer: “No refund?”

    Me: “No refund, sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, then I’m NEVER coming back to this place ever again!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The woman looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds before she briskly walked away, murmuring something to herself.)

    A Text In The Wrong Direction

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

    Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

    Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

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