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    An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

    Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

    Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

    Customer: “What about the starfish?”

    Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

    Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

    Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

    (The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

    (The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

    Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

    (The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)

    It’s Scary What They Want Refunds For

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (A woman walks into our haunted house with her 10-year-old son, buying admission for the two of them. After she comes out, she storms over to me, a look of anger on her face.)

    Customer: “Refund. Now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, as you can see by this sign, we have a strict ‘No Refund’ policy.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I want my money back, and I want it now! I want to speak with the manager of this place.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I am the manager.”

    Customer: “Well, then you can give me a refund.”

    Me: “Before we take this any further, I’d like to know why you want a refund.”

    Customer: “Do you have any idea how bad this place scared my child? He was terrified!”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I certainly cannot give you a refund.”

    Customer: “Oh? Why’s that?”

    Me: “You see, ma’am, this is a haunted house. Our job here is to scare and frighten everyone who comes in here. You said you son was scared when he went in. Then you got what you paid for.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t think it would scare him THAT bad!”

    Me: “Then we’ve exceeded expectations.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! You scared a little ten year old boy to death!”

    Me: “As I stated, that is our job. It is up to the family of children to decide whether the child should go in or not.”

    Customer: “I think it would be up to the workers here to not scare a child who’s coming through!”

    Me: “Then they wouldn’t be doing their job, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, I can’t get a refund?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “You should change the policy about refunds, then.”

    Me: “I have no power to do that. I’m the manager, but not the owner. And he has told us that if we were to give out refunds, we would have no profit, because people would abuse the refunds right. This is why we can’t do it.”

    Customer: “No refund?”

    Me: “No refund, sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, then I’m NEVER coming back to this place ever again!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The woman looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds before she briskly walked away, murmuring something to herself.)

    A Text In The Wrong Direction

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

    Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

    Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

    Common Knowledge Has Deserted You

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

    (We get a lot of people from different countries or other states who know nothing about Texas.)

    Tourist: “So is the Alamo like out in the desert or something?”

    Me: “Oh, have ya’ll not been downtown yet? It’s pretty much smack dab in the middle of the city.”

    Tourist: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It’s not like in the movie. The city has grown around it,. It’s actually one of the more boring missions that’s pretty much completely covered by urban sprawl. I you want to see more traditional missions you should try San Jose or the other ones in the National Park areas.”

    (They’re silent for awhile while I guess they’re having trouble with the term ‘missions.’)

    Tourist: “Where’s your desert, anyway?”

    Me: “Um… Like, 400 miles west of here?”

    Tourist: “So, we’re not in Texas yet?”

    No Wonder She Ran Away

    , | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I work in one of the gift shops at a popular UK theme park. One day I notice a little girl, probably no older than eight, wandering around our shop unattended quite late in the day.)

    Me: “Hi sweetie, are you alright there?”

    (The girl just bursts into tears.)

    Girl: “I’ve lost my mummy and daddy!”

    Me: “Okay, okay, well don’t worry; I’ll help you look for them.”

    (I take her over to a stool we’ve been using to stock up and get her sat down. I let my coworker know to inform security so they can issue a park announcement and come take over the situation.)

    Me: “Now, here’s some tissues, and some water. Do you like sweets?”

    Girl: “Yeah. Coke bottles are my favourite.”

    Me: “Me too! Tell you what: you clear up those tears, and we’ll fill up a pick’n'mix bucket for you, okay?”

    (She smiles a bit and nods, and starts blowing her nose. About 10 minutes pass, and the girl has calmed a little bit. I’m told that security are all of a few minutes away, when a couple come into the shop.)

    Mother: “[Girl's Name], there you are! How DARE you run away from us!”

    Girl: “I got stuck behind some people—”

    Father: “Don’t you interrupt your mother, you little cow!”

    Me: “Ah excuse me? I take it you’re this little girl’s parents?”

    (They both look at me with a mix of disgust and shock.)

    Mother: “What’s it to you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not a parent, but if I’d lost my daughter I wouldn’t be insulting and yelling at her, especially since she’s literally just stopped crying.”

    Father: “You rude little s***! Who do you think you are?!”

    (The father gets a tap on the shoulder by the security team that had just arrived.)

    Security Guy #1: “Well at a guess, I’d say this is the staff member who found your daughter and has been looking after her.”

    (The girl holds up her bucket of cola bottles, squashed down as far as we can get them.)

    Girl: “He let me have all of these sweets!”

    Mother: “We better not have to pay for them!”

    (I just about hold my tongue, but the security guys say what I am thinking.)

    Security Guy #2: “Are you for real? You lose your kid and you’re worried about paying for a bunch of cola bottles?!”

    Security Guy #1: “Tell you what: any complaints or questions you have we’ll sort out at the security office with all the other paper work, and let these guys get back to their jobs.”

    (Just as they leave, the girl gives me a hug and says ‘thank you.’ I don’t know what happened to her, but I hope the parents eventually saw sense as to what’s important in life.)

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