I get a tech support call from a remote sales rep.

Me: “IT, how can I help you?”

Sales Representative: “I haven’t been able to get email for a couple of days now on my laptop.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll start a remote session. Accept the prompt when it pops up.”

Sales Representative: “I don’t have my laptop right now. It’s in the trunk of my car.”

Me: “Well, go get it.”

Sales Representative: “I can’t. I’m driving down the interstate. Can’t you remotely start the laptop and fix it for me?”

Me: *Long pause* “No. We can’t do that. You need to be on your laptop, logged in, and connected to the VPN for us to provide any assistance. Drive safe.”

I hung up and pondered how this sales rep can even function as an independent adult.

I work IT for a retail company.

Caller: “When I download the app, it says I need to trust it.”

Me: “Yes, when you first download it, you have to trust it to be able to sign in. This is a [Company]-specific app, so technically, the developer is untrusted.”

Caller: “So, what do I do?”

Me: “On your phone, go to Settings, General, [Company], [Company Certificate], and then when you click on that, it’ll give you an option to trust it.”

Caller: “My phone is saying not to trust it, so what do I do?”

Me: “You have to trust it.”

Caller: “But my phone says not to. Do I have to trust it?”

Me: “If you want to be able to use the app.”

Caller: “Well, my phone says not to.”

Me: “Yes, it might, because the app was developed [Company]-side, so technically, it’s not trusted because it’s not a known developer. It’s a safe app; you just have to tell your phone that, which is why you have to trust it.”

Caller: “But my phone says not to.”

Me: *Head-desk* “I understand that, but in order to use the app, you have to trust it.”

Caller: “Well, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, I trusted it. Now it’s not going to delete stuff, is it?”

Me: “Um… well, not unless you tell it to?”

Caller: “No, I have storage on my phone like pictures and stuff, and this isn’t going to take that space, is it?”

Me: “Well, it’s going to take some space because it’s an app that needs to store data, but it’s not going to delete things.”

Caller: “So, it won’t delete my pictures?”

Me: “If the phone runs into storage issues, it should let you know and request that you move or delete things. But the app will not randomly start deleting your pictures.”

Caller: “Are you sure? And since I trusted it, it’s not going to steal my contacts, is it?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Caller: “I’m sorry to keep asking, but it’s just that fifteen years ago, someone hacked payroll and got all our information and I’m nervous about them getting stuff from my phone.” 

I am thinking, “Well, this isn’t fifteen years ago, and this has nothing to do with payroll, and how does that equate to deleting your pictures?”

Me: “No, this won’t steal your information.”

Caller: “Are you sure I have to trust it? And is it going to take up storage space?”

Me: “If you want to use the app, you need to keep it trusted. There will be some storage space used, yes.”

Caller: “Well, I pay for storage each month, so what happens if I go over with this?”

Me: “You might have to pay for extra space at that point, then, which you might be able to get reimbursed, but that’s something you’d have to clear with your manager. Or you can talk to your manager to see if you can get a [Company] iPad or cell phone.”

Caller: “I can get a company-owned device? I didn’t know that was an option!”

Me: “Well, it has to go through your manager and there has to be a valid business use case for it, but you’d have to talk to them.”

Caller: “I didn’t know we had company phones.”

Me: “They’re not handed out to everyone and it is still on a case-by-case basis that has to go through your manager.”

Caller: “So, I have to talk to my manager?”

Me: “If you want to see about getting a company phone. You do have the app installed on your current phone so you’ll be able to use it.”

Caller: “It won’t delete my info, will it?”

Me: “No.”

User: “Well, I guess I’ll go check in with my manager. Have a good night!”

I work in IT for a retail company. I’ve been recently helping support some of our backend retail systems, so I’ve been doing more tickets and queue work than being on the phones.

One thing that we stress through the company is to NEVER SHARE YOUR PASSWORD. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop people from doing it, and when we find out about it, there’s paperwork and resetting and frustration because users don’t understand why security is reaching out to lecture them.

I get a ticket for an issue with a system; it’s actually a known break that is actively being worked on.

User: “I can’t sign into [System]. It keeps telling me my credentials are incorrect even though I know they’re correct. My username is [Username] and here’s my password: [password].”

I actually stare at the ticket for a minute, trying to see if I am reading what I think I am reading. Then, I burst out laughing in our team meeting. I have to explain what has me laughing, which gets everyone else going.

Coworker #1: “Oh, come on. You’ll need to create a second ticket without the password and then send a request to security to get the initial incident removed from the system. Then let the user know they’ll need to reset their password. If they say no or don’t respond, just go expire it.”

I send a message to the user through our chat system.

Me: “Hi! I wanted to reach out regarding your incident [incident]. You included your password in the incident, which is a security violation. You’ll need to reset your password immediately.”

User: “Hi, [My Name]. I included it because I wanted to know if there was a reason why I am having so much trouble getting into [System]. But noted!”

Me: “Please don’t share your password with anyone or in incidents; for security reasons this is not allowed. There is an issue with [System] currently that this is related to. A new incident was created for your initial report as the security team will need to delete the original one. You will still need to change your password.”

User: “Okay, thanks!”

The number of people who willingly want to share their passwords scares me, honestly. I’ve had a couple of times where I’ve been tempted to use their password to do something (non-malicious and reversible) just to prove the point of why we don’t share passwords.

Customer: “I bought this new laptop, but I didn’t like the look of the touchpad so I bought an external wireless mouse to use instead. But it’s not working.”

Me: “Did your mouse come with a little Bluetooth receiver?”

Customer: “Yes, it did.”

Me: “Okay, have you plugged that in?”

Customer: “No, I haven’t.”

Okay, good; this’ll be easy, I figure.

Me: “Plug it in and tell me what prompts you see.”

She sighs angrily to herself, and after a few seconds:

Customer: “Nothing came up.”

Me: “Try moving the mouse.”

Customer: *Angrily* “Yeah, it moves.”

Me: “Great! Problem solved!”

Nope.

Customer: “Okay, but I don’t want this Bluetooth thing connected. What’s the point of buying it if it has to be plugged in?”

Puzzled for a moment, I try to explain that it’s simply a reality of wireless mice, as well as a lot of wireless devices with laptops.

Customer: “Well, that’s insane. It’s needless! The computer already has one connected. I wanted an unconnected one! Now I have to deal with this Bluetooth lead with it getting in the way constantly!”

Again, puzzled, I ask her what brand wireless mouse she purchased so I can look it up and may get an idea of what she is talking about.

She reads the box. And, of course, it’s a wired mouse. That brand doesn’t even sell wireless mice.

Me: “Does the ‘Bluetooth lead’ connect to the mouse physically?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the problem!”

Me: “You’ve bought a wired mouse. You need to return it and get a wireless one if that’s what you want.”

Customer: “But why can’t you just remove the lead? What’s the point of it being wireless if it has the lead?”

Me: “It’s not a wireless mouse, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’m aware of that, and that’s what I’m saying is the issue!”

Me: “Ma’am. The device you bought is not able to be wireless.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: *Pauses* “It wasn’t built that way. It was built to have the wire.”

Customer: “That’s pointless! The computer already has a connected mouse thing. Why would they sell one that can’t be wireless?”

Me: *Pauses longer* “Yeah, I don’t know. You should return it. Make sure they sell you a wireless one. Tell them you specifically want one that is Bluetooth and wireless.”

I have a Smart TV with a cable subscription. There are plugs from the TV and the router that go into the cable box which emanates from the wall. At one point in time, it was set at HDMI 1. My kids keep rearranging the wires as they hook up their Switch and Xbox. I’ve not watched programs that need the cable box — this includes network TV — in months.

I go to watch the first Thursday night game. I start early, mind you, as I expect to have trouble with the setup. I also want to tape the game for my daughter who is out.

The problem is that the box won’t go on. I look and, sure enough, it’s not plugged in. Yet I don’t know what the charger is supposed to look like and I have LOADS of chargers for all sorts of electronics. No one is home to help me. I do see two plugs: one seems to go to the router, the other LOOKS as if it’s plugged into the wall. I do try and unplug the router plug first — I am tired — and manage to disconnect the Internet for ten minutes as it reboots. I rifle through different boxes of plugs and wires to see if it has accidentally been put away as something we had no use for.

The next day, the kids are of no use. I start a chat with customer service so I can get a new charger.

Me: “I need a new charger.”

Chat: “So, I see you are having an issue with your F-SetBox. Can you describe what you are seeing?”

Me: “Yes, I’m having an issue because it’s not plugged in, as I don’t seem to have the charger.”

Chat: “Are you having the issue with only one of your boxes as I see you have two boxes?”

I had forgotten that there was a second one in my daughter’s room; now at least I can see what the charger is supposed to look like. I also think that I can use this charger, so my daughter tries.

Me: “Just the one.”

Chat: “If you read me the serial number, I can get started on ordering you a new one, free of charge.”

I type in the numbers.

In the meantime, my daughter locates a similar plug but sees it “plugged” in and thinks it must be for something different. She then leaves. I look closer at the connection and think that this must be the charger, and that maybe the other end is just jammed. It’s behind a fairly heavy entertainment center which I can just move out enough to unjam and plug in.

The customer service rep asks me to verify my address.

Me: “Please hold off on that. I believe that the cord was just jammed up against the wall, not plugged in elsewhere.”

Chat: “So you’ve found the cord?”

Me: “The F-box seems to be starting now; green lights… blinking…”

Chat: “Are we good now?”

Me: “Please wait until I can get this verified.”

I try to go to HDMI 1 and HDMI 2 but neither works.

Me: “I can’t seem to get HDMI 1 and 2 to work.”

Chat: “Any chance there is an HDMI 3?”

Me: “Yes. It didn’t occur to me to try that.”

I felt like an idiot. Sure enough, HDMI 3 put me into the correct screen. I got a prompt to hit “OK,” but the remote wasn’t working. Apparently, someone had harvested the batteries. The next device I tried to take batteries from was also dead.

I apparently took too long; the chat guy left. I eventually found working batteries.

I also received a free charger.