Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (3,017 thumbs up)
  • Note: Still Needs To Discover Fire And The Wheel

    | USA | Top

    (Ten years ago, I was working for a company selling computerized cash registers. A customer called in to help me with a cash register that didn’t connect to the back office computer)

    Me: “So, can you tell me the settings of the DIP switches on the cash register?”

    Customer: “DIP switch?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, the small switches located on the backside.”

    Customer: “Eeeerrr…there are no switches there.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, there are. Right next to the power cord.”

    Customer: “No. There are no switches. Not any more!”

    Me: *puzzled* “Huh? Not any more? What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Well, you know, my colleague told me that these switches might actually be what caused the problem, so I removed them.”

    Me: “REMOVED THEM??”

    Customer: “Yeah, you know, removed them. With a chisel.”

    Source

    Time To Call The Plumber

    | Tel Aviv, Israel | Technology, Top

    Me: “Internet helpdesk, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t connect to the internet.”

    Me: “How long has it been since you last connected?”

    Customer: “I was connected until a few minutes ago.”

    Me: “Have you changed anything in your network?”

    Customer: “Well, I was downloading some movies over the net, but the download got too slow. I called a friend of mine and he told me that some movies could’ve gotten stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could yank it out of there. I didn’t find anything, so I taped the cable back together. Now, can you get it back to work?”

    Me: *grimace*

    “L”ord Have Mercy

    | UK |

    Customer: ‘What’s a colon?’

    Tech Support: ‘It’s the key next to the ‘L’ key on your keyboard.’

    Customer: ‘How do you spell ‘L’?’

    Source

    Honesty Is Always The Best Policy =P

    , | Texas, USA | Top

    Customer 1: “… ah, okay. Thanks for your help.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here for.”

    Customer 2: “I need help…”

    Me: “… and that is how it’s done.”

    Customer 2: “That was simple. You made me feel dumb.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here… I mean…” (I didn’t know what to say from there)

    That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

    , , | Unknown Location |

    Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

    Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

    Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

    Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

    Page 88/90First...8687888990