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  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
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    “L”ord Have Mercy

    | UK |

    Customer: ‘What’s a colon?’

    Tech Support: ‘It’s the key next to the ‘L’ key on your keyboard.’

    Customer: ‘How do you spell ‘L’?’

    Source

    Honesty Is Always The Best Policy =P

    , | Texas, USA | Top

    Customer 1: “… ah, okay. Thanks for your help.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here for.”

    Customer 2: “I need help…”

    Me: “… and that is how it’s done.”

    Customer 2: “That was simple. You made me feel dumb.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here… I mean…” (I didn’t know what to say from there)

    That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

    , , | Unknown Location |

    Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

    Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

    Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

    Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

    When Nomenclature Goes Amok

    | USA | Top

    Tech Support: “All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon.”

    Customer: “That’s why I hate this ‘Windows’–because of the icons–I’m a Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons.”

    Tech Support: “Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t believe it was meant to-”

    Customer: “I don’t care about any ‘industry terms’. I don’t believe in icons.”

    Tech Support: “Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’ of a file cabinet…it’s a ‘little picture’, okay?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    My Neighbor Broke, Can You Fix It

    | Boulder, CO |

    Tech Support: “So you’re having issues picking up your wireless signal … how many connections are there?”

    Customer: “There’s two other networks but only one bar on each … those are my bad neighbors.”

    Tech Support: “So the good signal isn’t there? Hmm, your modem might be off; can we check that?”

    Customer: “Modem?”

    (Tech support troubleshot that for a while before realizing the guy had never paid for internet before and didn’t own a modem.)

    Tech Support: “Sir, when you said the other connections were your ‘bad neighbors…’ Did you mean that the good neighbor with the good signal isn’t there?”

    Customer: “Oh, he moved?”


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