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    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 3

    | Jackson, MS, USA | Top

    (I’m a male to female transsexual working in a call center. My name is an androgynous name, so I still use the male name when greeting customers for legal reasons.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, K***y speaking. How can I help you today?”

    Sexist Caller: “You can’t help me. Get me someone who can.”

    Me: “I’m sure I can assist you sir, what is the problem today?”

    Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to you!”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to no girl.”

    (This caused me to both be glad that my voice passes for female on the phone, but really pissed me off cause of how horrible it was…but I would have my revenge…)

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that sir, are you sure?”

    Sexist Caller: “Get me a man, God d**n it!*

    Me: “Okay sir, let me see what I can do. Please hold.”

    (I proceed to put him on hold. I then spend the next few minutes eating a snack, reading some web comics, etc. I then clear my throat, and hit the button to take him off hold.)

    Me: *with my old male voice this time* “Thank you for calling technical support, this is K***y speaking, how can I help you?”

    Sexist Caller: “Oh thank god, I though I was gonna be stuck with that b**ch.”

    Me: “Understandable sir, she’s not that good a technician.”

    Sexist Caller: “You guys got the same name, you related or something?”

    Me: “No way, thank God… ”

    (I proceeded to reinstall his operating system from where he had totally screwed it up. I got written up for this, all while the manager was laughing and apologizing that he had to do it.)

    Related:
    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2
    The Joy Of Sex(ism)

    Thick(headed) As Thieves

    | Massachusetts, USA | Top

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to install your program but it keeps quitting during the set up.”

    Me: “Are you getting any error messages?”

    Customer: “No, it just quits and I have to restart the installation.”

    Me: “At what point does it quit?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s on the screen where is says registration code. I hit cancel and then it quits.”

    Me: “In order for the installation process to finish, you need to put in a registration code.”

    Customer: “Can you give me one?”

    Me: “For your program to work, you need to put in the code that comes with it.”

    Customer: “Well, how do I find that?”

    Me: “It would be on a slip of paper inside the box.”

    Customer: “What box?”

    Me: “The box that the CD came in.”

    Customer: “I didn’t get a box. Could you just give me a code?”

    Me: “When you bought the program it came in a box, did you lose the box?”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t buy it, I got it from a friend. But I don’t think she bought it either. The CD looks like it was homemade.”

    Me: “… homemade?”

    Customer: “Yeah, the top of the CD has handwriting on it. It’s just like the music CDs she gives to me.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to assume that the person who gave you this CD downloaded the program illegally. I can not provide you with a code to activate the software without a proper purchase.”

    Customer: “So now I can’t use it?”

    Me: “Not without purchasing it.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want to pay for it, I just want to use it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it just won’t work that way.”

    Customer: “Well, what good are you, you lousy b**ch?!” *click*

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

    | Monterrey, Mexico |

    (A customer had some serious problems with his computer, and since we are an internet company, we refer to the computer manufacturer number.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, can you tell me the brand of your computer?”

    Caller: “Compaq…” (or so I thought I heard…)

    Me: “Okay, sir, give me a sec–”

    Caller: *apparently still reading* “…compact disc.”

    Me: >.<

    Gotta Love Those Magic Dongles

    | Oslo, Norway |

    Me: “Welcome to the IT service desk. You’re talking to ******. How may I help you today?”

    User: “I can’t log on to VPN.”

    Me: “OK, how does the problem manifest itself?”

    User: “I get a wrong user name or password error.”

    Me: “Right. What’s the serial number of your VPN dongle?”

    User: “Well, it keeps changing.”

    Me: “…”

    Land Of The Free, Home Of The Unobservant

    | Sunnyvale, CA, USA |

    Customer: “I lost my CD key and I need a new one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. In order for me to provide you with a replacement key, I need you to email me a picture of the CD as proof of ownership.”

    Customer: “What? But I only need a CD key. I paid for it last week!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but due to piracy issues, I have to get proof that you own an original copy of the CD or anyone could call and claim they bought the game, yet have an illegal copy.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I paid forty f***ing dollars for this game and I need a CD key for it?”

    Me: “I can provide you with a key if you will simply email me a picture of your CD.”

    Customer: “No! This is America! If I say I paid for it, you should trust me! I’m going to report your company to the Attorney General! You ripped me off and won’t provide me with the product I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir–”

    Customer: “Oh, wait… the CD key is here on the plastic case.” *hangs up*

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