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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    And We Wonder Who Clicks On Spam, Part 2

    , | Indiana, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, may I have your university user name?”

    Caller: “What’s a user’s name?”

    Me: “Oh… well, how are you affiliated with [university]?

    Caller: “It’s what came up on my screen.”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’m sorry, but this help desk is only for students, staff, and faculty of our university.”

    Caller: “But the page said to call!”

    Me: “Yes. If you’re in any way affiliated with us we’d be happy to help you, but this service is for students, staff, and faculty.

    Caller: “But it didn’t say that, it just said to call!”

    Me: “Well, I apologize, but you can’t just call any number on the internet and expect support!”

    Caller: “Well, why not?!” *hangs up*

    And We Wonder Who Clicks On Spam…

    Tech Support, Tier 666

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    (Sometimes I get very bored at work and decide to have fun with customers.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “My computer isn’t working at all. It seems that something is wrong with it.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do…”

    (I place my hands on the computer and in my best imitation of a televangelist.)


    Customer: “Oh my God, really? Are you serious?! Thank you!”

    Me: “No, no I’m not.”

    Customer: *completely baffled*

    Me: “I hate my life.”

    From Bad To Worse

    | Orem, UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work in email and chat tech support, so one day, an email comes in.)

    “Hello Miss Sir,

    Please send me new one. ¬†My wife’s has defected.



    “Dear Boris,

    Thanks for contacting us. ¬†If your wife’s mp3 player is defective, we will be happy to replace it. ¬†Please respond with more details on the problem. ¬†If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.”



    “Hello Miss,

    Yes, send new one. My wife’s has defecated.”

    Chairlike People And Other Objects, Beware

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling *** Support, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Okay, well, you know how the laptop computers look like chairs?”

    Me: “I guess I can kinda see how you could possibly think that…”

    Customer: “Well, I sat on it, and now it’s broken.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, any sort of warranty will not cover accidental damage on the computer.”

    Customer: “It wasn’t accidental.”

    Me: “If you sat on it, then it is considered accidental damage.”

    Customer: “It’s NOT accidental damage! You think somebody just sits on their computer by accident?!”

    Me: “Okay… so the computer is damaged, right?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Me: “So, what would you like me to do for you?”

    Customer: “I want you to fix my computer! It’s broken!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but any personal damage done to the computer is not covered under warranty. I can possibly send it in to be fixed, but there will be a charge.”

    Customer: “It’s not personal damage! I sat on it!”

    Me: “If you sat on the computer, than you damaged it personally, and it is not covered under warranty.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me fat?!”

    Customer Of The Week: It’s The Icons

    | USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: It's The Icons
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story:
    When Nomenclature Goes Amok

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