Customer Of The Week: It’s The Icons

| USA | Old Comics

Customer Of The Week: It's The Icons
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story:
When Nomenclature Goes Amok

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

| Vienna, Austria | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, *** Customer Support, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I have a problem with my bill.”

Me: “Let’s have a look at it, can you give me your customer number please?”

Customer: “Sure, it’s…”

(While he gives me the number, the fire alarm goes off.)

Customer: “What is this noise?”

Me: “It’s the fire alarm, Sir. I’m afraid I have to call you back later.”

Customer: “Oh, I see. Well, can we go through my bill now?”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t do this right now. The fire alarm is on and that means I have to leave the building.”

Customer: “Yeah, sure. So, my bill–”

Me: “Sir, I will gladly check your bill once the alarm is out and the building is safe, but now, I really need to hang up and go outside.”

Customer: “But my bill…”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid my pants are on fire, so I’d appreciate it if you could agree that I’ll call you back later.”

Customer: “Oh! Okay then, call me in an hour and I hope your pants are fine.”

Me: “Thanks. Bye.”

(My pants of course were not on fire, but I don’t think anything else would have shut him up.)

Related:
Liar Liar On The Telephone (Wire)

Not Quite The Car’s Meow

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work for an online traffic school and for some of the counties, we need them to put answers to security questions.

Me: “Hi, this is ***, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue.”

Me: “Okay, what question did you miss?”

Caller: “I missed what is my favorite animal.”

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: “Sir, the answer we have here says ‘Pussy’. You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for… your favorite food?”

Caller: *click*

Thank God For Better Halves

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Uncategorized

(An older customer calls in for tech support with his satellite receiver.)

Me: “Okay, your signal strength is pretty good.”

Customer: “Right.”

Me: “Let’s just verify all your channels are coming in.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Can you please put it on channel 400?”

Customer: “No problem, hold on.” *dials 4-0-0 into the telephone*

Customer’s wife: “Give me that!”

(She gets control of the phone.)

Customer’s wife: *laughing* “So sorry, he’s such an idiot!”

Related:
Take A Guess Who The Better Half Is

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

Step 35c: Ask Customer To Reboot Dumbo

| Arkansas, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, all the computers in the store are down.”

Me: “Yep, I can’t ping your servers or anything. Are you in the computer room?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “What’s on your console?”

Customer: “Hang on, let me get a flash light.”

Me: “A flashlight? Why do you need a flash light?”

Customer: “We’re in the middle of a power outage.”

Me: “Umm… sir, the computers won’t work without power.”

Customer: “Are you sure? They fixed it last time.”

Me: “Pretty sure… I’ve been doing this a while. How did you lose power?”

Customer: “An elephant stepped on the transformer.”

Me: “An… elephant?”

Customer: “We’re having a parking lot carnival, and an elephant got away from the handler.”

Me: “Ah yes, I should have known… those pesky elephants always causing us these problems.”

Customer: “What? Really?”

Me: “Yeah… call us back when you get your power restored.”

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