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    How About Some TechiFlu

    | Torrance, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I had my computer looked at there, and you guys said that it’s running slow because there are probably bugs in it. Well, I sprayed some bug spray in it and now it won’t turn on.”

    Me: “Ma’am, when they tell you bugs, they mean computer viruses, not an actual bug.”

    Customer: “Well, what can I spray it with to get rid of the viruses?”

    Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment, Part 2

    | Kennewick, WA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “My device won’t charge!”

    Me: “Okay, is it plugged in right now?”

    Customer: “No, but it doesn’t charge!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, just to cover all the bases, can you plug it back in for me?”

    Customer: “Okay, but it won’t charge!” *pause* “G** D*** it! It’s charging!”

    Me: “Well, it sounds like it was a one-time glitch, but if it gives you any more problems, please call us right away so we can get it fixed for you, okay?”

    Customer: “I’m not going to call you back! You’re just going to make it work again!”

    Related:
    Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment

    I Once Had A Game This Big

    | Philly, PA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, may I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Can you tell me if this game will fit on my computer?”

    (I look at size of game install from box.)

    Me: “Okay, this takes four gigs of hard drive space. How big is your hard drive?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure. About this big, I think?” *holds hands about four inches apart*

    Sins Of The Father

    | Perth, Australia |

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t do that thingy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, What thingy?”

    Customer: “Emails. It keeps saying error 421. I never put that number in.”

    Me: “That’s an error number. Can you tell me what lights are flashing on the modem?”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “It’s a small box with cables running into it. It will have a lot of lights flickering on it.”

    Customer: “The box with the blinky lights?”

    Me: “Yes, that should be it.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought my son put that in here to annoy me, so I unplugged it!”

    Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees

    , | Nashville, TN, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [TV Company], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”

    Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”

    Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”

    Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”


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