Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,382 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    That’s Common Sense Out Of The Window

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am doing a new PC rollout for a very prominent technical engineering company. This conversation occurs one day after giving them a brand new PC.)

    Me: “I understand your new computer won’t boot up.”

    Client: “Yes. It worked fine yesterday, but this morning it won’t load.”

    (I look at the start up and find that the entire Windows Folder has been removed.)

    Me: “Did you edit anything yesterday before shutting down?”

    Client: “Yes, I went through and deleted everything that I didn’t recognize.”

    Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

    Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

    Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

    Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

    (The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

    A Sweet Resolution

    | MS, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Hello. This is [Name].”

    (There is lots of very loud static on the phone, making it difficult for me to hear the person.)

    Caller: “Hello?”

    Me: “Can you hear me?”

    Caller: “Hello?!”

    Me: “Your phone has a lot of static. I’m having trouble hearing you.”

    Caller: “HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? PEOPLE CAN’T HEAR ME AND I CAN’T HEAR THEM!”

    Me: “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF LOUD STATIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLASTIC WRAPPER!”

    (The static stops.)

    Caller: “Oh! That’s because I was opening a candy! Thanks for your help!”

    (The caller hung up, and my face met the desk.)

    Social Notworking

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work on a call floor that supports connections and email for various small ISPs. Often the older customers don’t understand just what our support was limited to.)

    Customer: “I signed up for the WHOLE internet, and you didn’t give it to me!”

    Me: “Where is it that you’re unable to reach online?”

    Customer: “Well, I want to look at this pretty girl’s pictures, but it says I’m not signed up.”

    (It takes me quite a while to ferret out that he’s searched for pretty girls, followed a link to a popular social network, but isn’t a member.)

    Me: “Sir, signing up for social sites is your own responsibility, not the ISP’s.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! I paid for the whole thing! I want the whole thing!”

    (Although I’m not supposed to, I go ahead and walk him through the process of signing up for an account. It takes about 20 minutes, and he sighs heavily throughout the whole thing.)

    Me: “Okay! Now you’re all signed up. Go make some friends!”

    Customer: “WHAT?!? THERE’S MORE?! YOU make them be my friends!”

    Clean Out Of Common Sense

    | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A caller is complaining that there is something wrong with her computer when she tries to access the internet. I run through the usual diagnostics, but nothing seems to help. I have already been put on probation for letting my calls go over seven minutes, and I am eager to get this call completed.)

    Me: “Ma’am, before we proceed, I’m going to need you to defrag your computer and when it’s completed, call us back to finish the procedure.”

    Customer: “What does ‘derag’ mean?”

    Me: It’s a maintenance task that’s basically cleaning up your computer. I can walk you—”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks!” *hangs up*

    (I assume we’ve been disconnected, so I call the customer back to finish the call.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we seemed to have been cut off—”

    Customer: “Oh don’t worry about it! You’ve been most helpful.”

    Me: “I thought I should call you back and walk you through defragging your hard drive.”

    Customer: “That’s very kind of you, but I already started to…” *giggles* “…defrag my computer!”

    Me: “Okay. In that case, when the computer is finished, call us back and we can see if that did the trick. It should take a few hours at least—”

    Customer: “Oh, it won’t take THAT long. The rinse cycle should be done in a half hour.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “My dishwasher has an efficiency setting. Though I admit, it was difficult getting the computer in there.”

    Me: “You put your computer in the DISHWASHER?”

    Customer: “Well, it was too big to put in the sink.”

    (At this point, I had no idea what to do. I told the customer that I would document the conversation in our logs, and she could call back for further technical support. Then I closed down my station and told my supervisor that I was sick and had to go home. He was doubled over with laughter, having listened to my calls. The call logs made their way around my shift-mates, who hung a ‘Dry Clean Only’ sign on my station. The upside is I was never bothered about my call time again.)

    Page 5/89First...34567...Last