October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Very Social Network

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I am trying to help an elderly couple get on the internet.)

Me: “Okay. Go ahead and see if you are able to connect.”

Customer: “I can’t. It says that I am not connected to any networks.”

Me: “That’s odd. I can see you on the network.”

Customer: *amazed* “You can see me?”

Me: “Yes, I can see you.”

Customer: *shocked* “Wow, she can see me!”

Customer’s husband: *in the background* “Well, put some clothes on woman!”

About To Kick The Can

| Mount Vernon, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I was wondering how I can delete stuff from my trash bin?”

Me: “That’s an easy fix. Just right click on the icon, and click ’empty recycling bin’. Got that?”

Customer: *clicking noise* “Okay. Now, how do I get them back?”

Some Customers Can Make You See Red

| Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I am highly dissatisfied with the support I have received so far. I expressly asked for a red system. This is silver.”

Me: “Sir, this is technical support.”

Customer: “I know it is! My system is supposed to be red!”

Me: “Did you order it red?”

Customer: “The sales person didn’t tell me different colors were available.”

Me: “You should probably talk to sales. I can transfer you.”

Customer: “Is this the kind of support you guys offer? I have a problem here.”

Me: “Sir, is you computer functioning?”

Customer: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “Does your computer turn on?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Does it connect to the internet?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do all of your programs load?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “From a technical stand point, is there anything wrong with your system?”

Customer: “Technically, it’s not red.”

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

| Reston, VA, USA | Top

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to change my desktop background. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Are you on your desktop?”

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Okay, I would like you to right click on the desktop.”

Customer: “You want me to right click?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Nothing is happening.”

Me: “That’s odd. Well, right click again. Let’s see if anything happens.”

Customer: “Nope, still nothing.”

Me: “Okay, let me come over to your desk. I will try to see what’s going on.”

(I walk over to the user’s desk. As I approach, I notice the user wrote the word ‘click’ twice on the monitor with a sharpie.)

Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even A Mouse

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [computer company] support. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My son just bought me a computer today. He showed me how to use things like internet. But now I can’t close the window. When I click the close button, it directs me to a search page.”

Me: “Are you sure you’re clicking the close button?”

Customer: “Yes, I am. I’m putting the mouse on the top left corner of the mouse pad, in the same place where the close button on the window is. I’m clicking the mouse, and the search page pops up.”

Me: “Ma’am, you actually need to drag the mouse on the mouse pad until it’s over the close button. Then you click the mouse.”

(There are five seconds of extremely loud clicking, followed by a frustrated grunt.)

Customer: “It still isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay. There are other ways to close the window. Try pressing alt and F4.”

Customer: “Oh, that sounds far to complicated. I’ll just get my son on the next flight from Arizona to come fix it.”

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