November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 3

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I am trying to find out how much RAM I have on my computer.”

Me: “Okay. An easy way to find this is to right-click on the my computer icon, and left-click on properties.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Now what?”

Me: “You should see a box pop up with information about the computer on it.”

Caller: “Okay, but nothing happened.”

Me: “Nothing at all? What do you see on your screen?”

Caller: “My desktop.”

Me: “Alright. Well let’s try this again. What happens when you right-click on the my computer icon?”

Caller: “Nothing.”

Me: “Is the computer on?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you tell me, step by step, what you did?”

Caller: “Sure. You asked me to write click on my computer, and I didn’t want to write on my brand new computer, so I got a sticky note and wrote ‘click’ on the note. I stuck it to the screen, over the my computer icon.”

Me: *pause* “Oh. Okay. Well, by saying right-click, I meant pushing the button on the right side of the mouse. When you do this, it makes a clicking noise, so we techies call it ‘right-click’.”

Caller: “Oh, wow. That makes sense!”

Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 2
Right-Click, Wrong-Click

Not A Smart Guy, Period

| Auckland, New Zealand | Uncategorized

Me: “Okay, sir. The email address is [name]@[company].com.”

Caller: “Dot-com. Is that all one word?”

Me: “Dot, as in a full stop.”

Caller: “Smart guy, huh?!”

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 3

| New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I’d like to know how to charge my handheld, please.”

Me: “Take the cable, and plug it into the bottom of the handheld. Take the other side, and plug it into the wall.”

Caller: “Which one goes in the wall?”

Me: “The side that has the two prongs.”

Caller: “Why is this so complicated?!” *click*

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2
Not So Smart-Phone

This Tutor Should Have Been Screened Harder

| Australia | Top

(I am reinstalling the operating system on one of the student computers. I leave a note on it stating that it is out of order, and that students shouldn’t touch the computer. A tutor walks in, and reads the note. He looks at computer screen, and reads the note one more time. He then turns the computer off before I can react.)

Tutor: “I think there’s something wrong with this computer.”

Me: “Why did you turn it off? Who told you to turn off?”

Tutor: “Oh, the note said students weren’t allowed to touch it.”

Me: “Okay, there’s a loophole there, I guess. But why did you turn it off?”

Tutor: “I don’t know.”

Between The Teen Computer Screen

| Online | Uncategorized

Me: *via online chat* “It’s just the date of birth that doesn’t match on your account. But I have the correct account pulled up here.”

Customer: “Maybe if I tried to make the account when I was very young, I might have claimed to be eighteen at the time. But the month and day would still be the same!”

Me: “…I see.”

Customer: “Yes. I know it was very wrong of teenager-me to claim to be an adult. However, I can hardly ground her at this point.”