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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Inoperating System

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    Caller: “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not a technically savvy person.”

    Me: “Well, that’s fine. We should be able to get this working. Can you go ahead and click on the start menu?”

    Caller: *pause* “Start menu?”

    Me: “Yeah, the little button on the bottom-left of your screen. It’s either a circle with the logo or a rectangle that says ‘start’. It’s right there on your taskbar.”

    Caller: *pause* “Taskbar?”

    Me: “Yeah, the little bar with all the icons right at the bottom of your desktop.”

    Caller: *pause* “Desktop?”

    Me: “You know what? I’m just going to connect to your computer remotely and do it myself.”

    Caller: *pause* “Thank you?”

    Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 3

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I am trying to find out how much RAM I have on my computer.”

    Me: “Okay. An easy way to find this is to right-click on the my computer icon, and left-click on properties.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. Now what?”

    Me: “You should see a box pop up with information about the computer on it.”

    Caller: “Okay, but nothing happened.”

    Me: “Nothing at all? What do you see on your screen?”

    Caller: “My desktop.”

    Me: “Alright. Well let’s try this again. What happens when you right-click on the my computer icon?”

    Caller: “Nothing.”

    Me: “Is the computer on?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Can you tell me, step by step, what you did?”

    Caller: “Sure. You asked me to write click on my computer, and I didn’t want to write on my brand new computer, so I got a sticky note and wrote ‘click’ on the note. I stuck it to the screen, over the my computer icon.”

    Me: *pause* “Oh. Okay. Well, by saying right-click, I meant pushing the button on the right side of the mouse. When you do this, it makes a clicking noise, so we techies call it ‘right-click’.”

    Caller: “Oh, wow. That makes sense!”

    Related:
    Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 2
    Right-Click, Wrong-Click

    Not A Smart Guy, Period

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Uncategorized

    Me: “Okay, sir. The email address is [name]@[company].com.”

    Caller: “Dot-com. Is that all one word?”

    Me: “Dot, as in a full stop.”

    Caller: “Smart guy, huh?!”

    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 3

    | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    Caller: “I’d like to know how to charge my handheld, please.”

    Me: “Take the cable, and plug it into the bottom of the handheld. Take the other side, and plug it into the wall.”

    Caller: “Which one goes in the wall?”

    Me: “The side that has the two prongs.”

    Caller: “Why is this so complicated?!” *click*

    Related:
    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2
    Not So Smart-Phone

    This Tutor Should Have Been Screened Harder

    | Australia | Top

    (I am reinstalling the operating system on one of the student computers. I leave a note on it stating that it is out of order, and that students shouldn’t touch the computer. A tutor walks in, and reads the note. He looks at computer screen, and reads the note one more time. He then turns the computer off before I can react.)

    Tutor: “I think there’s something wrong with this computer.”

    Me: “Why did you turn it off? Who told you to turn off?”

    Tutor: “Oh, the note said students weren’t allowed to touch it.”

    Me: “Okay, there’s a loophole there, I guess. But why did you turn it off?”

    Tutor: “I don’t know.”

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