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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Twist And Shout

    | Ireland | Extra Stupid

    (I work for a well known camera brand in their technical and customer support department. A customer calls in with quite an angry tone.)

    Customer: “I have bought a lens for my camera and the lens cap is stuck on it and won’t come off. This is the second lens of this kind I have had. I had to get the first one replaced for the same issue. There is clearly a fault with this lens.”

    Me: “I am very sorry to hear of your issue, sir. Can I ask what lens it is you have and where you bought it from?”

    Customer: “It is a [lens model], and I bought it from [store]‘s online store.”

    Me: “Thank you. Can you please explain in what way you are having difficulty in getting the lens cap off?”

    (I ask this because the lens cap normally just twists off, and it would be very unlikely for it to be stuck on purchasing the lens.)

    Customer: “What a stupid question! I am turning it like on all my other lens. They’re supposed to twist off!”

    Me: “Have you tried turning it the other way sir?”

    Customer: “Oh!”

    (There’s a long pause while the customer fiddles with their camera.)

    Customer: “…Well, it should be clearer.” *click*

    They Call Me Names

    | NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I overhear a phone call another agent is having with a customer for technical support.)

    Agent: “Hi, my name is [name]. Can I get your name and your TID please?”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “Your name.”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “Your N… A… M… E.”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “NAME. N… A… M… E…”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “No, your name.”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “Okay, what do people call you when they want your attention?”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “What did your mother call you when you were born?”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “Forget that, what’s your station number?”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “What’s the phone number at your site?”

    Caller: *says something*

    Agent: “This isn’t working, how about we just end the call now? Get someone that speaks English since the rest of the questions I will have for you are just going to get harder.” *hangs up*

    Taking Nothing From The Experience

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A customer calls with a very simple request, but because her tablet is out of warranty, so I have to charge her for service.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the credit card servers have gone down, so I’m still happy to assist you, no charge. Go ahead and click the button on the side of your device and your problem should be solved.”

    Caller: *after clicking the button* “It’s fixed! That was easy. Would you be able to reverse the charge?”

    Me: “I was unable to complete the transaction, so there will be no charge.”

    Caller: “That’s great, honey, but could you reverse the charges?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I never charged you. Your credit card will not be charged.”

    Caller: “Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand: I’m not asking you if you charged me, I’m asking you to please reverse the charges.”

    Me: “So you want me to give you back the money that I didn’t take from you?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “Sure thing! Have a great day!”

    Caller: “Thanks, darling! You too!”

    A Coincidence Beyond Numbers

    | UT, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling technical support, this is [my name]. May I get your company’s phone number or ticket number, please?”

    Customer: “My company’s number is [number].”

    (This number pulls up her company, but it’s an inactive account. I then look it up by the company’s name, and find the active account under a completely different phone number.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, it actually looks as though we have the account under this phone number.” *gives her the new number*

    Customer: “That’s the number I gave you!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that; I thought you had given me [first phone number].”

    Customer: “No, no! I gave you [second number], not that other one. You typed it in wrong!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. So I just happened to mistype the phone number into a completely different number, which also happened to pull up your company, just by chance?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    PEBCAK, Episode VI

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

    (I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

    Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

    Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

    (I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

    Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

    Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

    (I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

    Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

    Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

    (The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode V


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