Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (1,118 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Wireless, Clueless And Hopeless, Part 16

    | NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “You will need to be connected to Wi-Fi in order for this to work properly.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m connected. What next?”

    Me: “Once connected, you will need to go to the settings options and click on ‘Back Up’ now.”

    Customer: “Okay, I pressed it and now I see a progress bar at the bottom.”

    Me: “That’s great! That means it is backing up. Please let me know once it is done.”

    (15 minutes later:)

    Customer: “Sorry it is taking so long. It seems to be stuck in the middle.”

    Me: “It’s fine! It can take a while sometimes.”

    Customer: “Should I be connect to Wi-Fi for this?”

    Me: “Yes, I had mentioned at the very beginning that you would need to be connected to Wi-Fi for this to work correctly. Do you know if you have it on?”

    Customer: “Not sure how to turn it on.”

    (I instruct the customer on how to turn it on.)

    Me: “Do you see the name of your home Wi-Fi Network listed?”

    Customer: “How do I know what the name of my network is?”

    Me: “You would need to contact your Internet Service provider for that information.”

    Customer: “Will they be able to tell me if I have Wi-Fi?”

    (I’m literally about to lose my s*** at this point.)

    Me: “So you are not even sure if you have Wi-Fi?”

    Customer: “No… I’m sorry, but I’m not very tech savvy…”

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13

    Needs To Be Schooled On The Internet

    | VI, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

    (I work for a school that offers online classes. A parent from Georgia calls with a very simple request:)

    Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

    Parent: “Yes, I’m thinking of turning off the Internet up here at the house and I want to know if that’s going to affect my daughter’s online school?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I believe it might.”

    I Swear By My Password

    , | TX, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I work for an ISP that also provides e-mail. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I just got a new computer, and I can’t remember the password to log into my e-mail.”

    Me: “I can certainly help you out with that. Give me one moment to bring up your account.”

    (I verify some information with her and bring up her info, including her e-mail password. Because of what it is though, I’m having trouble figuring out how to give it to her.)

    Me: “Okay… So, I have your password up now. So I just want to be clear that what I’m about to tell you is really what I’m seeing on my screen.”

    Customer: “All right.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the password is ‘f*** you.'”

    (I hear some typing in the background.)

    Customer: “Great! That was it! Thank you so much!” *click*

    Service With Surgical Precision

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work as technical support at a large company that sells technology into multiple markets. I am following up on a voicemail left by a potential customer. From the voicemail, I know he’s looking for a specific medical product from the company’s medical division. I also know that the rights to the specific product had been sold to another company a few years ago. I dial the number he left me so that I can give him the other company’s contact information.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from technical support at [My Company]. I’m calling to follow up with a voicemail you left with us earlier today.”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I’m so glad you got back to me!”

    Me: “As it turns out, [product he is interested in] is one of the products that [My Company] sold to [Other Company] a few years ago. Would you like to take down their phone number?”

    Customer: “Well, actually, I can’t right now. I’m in surgery. It’s what I do for a living. But I’m sure I’ll be able to look up [Other Company]’s phone number if I search on the Internet.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I hope you have a good day and that everything turns out well.”

    Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yes, we’re just closing up the chest now. Thanks again for calling me back!”

    New Degrees Of Misunderstanding

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a large UK retailer, who has just released a new tablet computer, providing technical support for the product. We’re encouraged to keep customers on the line during the first time setup. This happens just at the start of the call, when selecting a wireless network to connect to.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’ll now see a screen that says ‘Select WiFi.’ Please find your home network connection and select it for me.”

    Customer: “Found it! It’s asking for my password, I’ll just type that in… It says ‘Authenticating.’ Why is it saying that?”

    (This always means the password was put in wrong. Usually it’s because the customer’s holding the tablet in landscape, and mistypes it.)

    Me: “You might’ve accidentally typed the password in wrong. Forget the network and try again. Might I ask how you’re holding the [Tablet] right now?”

    Customer: *sigh* “Landscape.”

    Me: “Okay, if you could just hold it in portrait for me, just for this step.”

    Customer: *long pause* “…How do I do that?”

    Me: “Um… you turn it 90 degrees, ma’am. So that the camera’s on the side, instead of the top.”

    Customer: *longer pause* “This is too complicated for me! I give up!” *click*

    Page 1/9212345...Last