Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,893 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Not A Well-Rounded Response

    | Sweden | Crazy Requests

    (I work as an HVAC tech, and am sent to a customer’s house to condemn his 25-year-old heat pump as ‘beyond repair.’ He phones up the dispatcher after receiving the bill.)

    Customer: “So, I had a tech here a while ago and got the bill today and you’re billing me for a whole hour.”

    Dispatcher: “Yes, that is our minimum fee for a call.”

    Customer: “He was here fifteen minutes at most. I see no reason that I should pay for a whole hour!”

    Dispatcher: “Well, fifteen minutes to drive from our company to your place, fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. That makes forty-five minutes, and we round upwards so that’s still an hour.”

    Customer: “What? That distance takes ten minutes, tops. I’ve driven between your company and here many times.”

    Dispatcher: “So that’s still thirty-five minutes, and we still round upwards so that’s still an hour and our minimum fee is still for one hour.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! When I had my own company I could never do that sort of thing.”

    Dispatcher: “Well, you won’t get anywhere with me. I can transfer you to the owner if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes, do exactly that!”

    (The dispatcher puts him on hold, walks into the owner’s office, and gives him a quick run-down on the situation.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [Owner]. Is there some trouble?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I had one of your techs at my house and it took him just fifteen minutes here and you’re billing me for a full hour!”

    Owner: “Well, as [Dispatcher] told you our minimum fee is for one hour and we also round upwards to the nearest half hour, so the bill is completely correct.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous! I never did that when I had my company.”

    Owner: “What kind of company did you have?”

    Customer: “I was an estate agent.”

    Owner: “An estate agent? The kind of person who drives around in brand new BMWs and Mercedes? Who bill you for just picking up the phone?”

    Customer: “You’re the worst person I’ve spoken to in my entire life!” *click*

    It’s Better Than Just Using ‘Password’

    | Malvern, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Working on an internal IT help desk, we have a customer who calls once to twice a week because he has forgotten his password to the network or custom programs.)

    Customer: “My d*** computer is broken again!”

    Coworker: “Okay, [Customer], are you having trouble getting into the computer or into a program?”

    Customer: “I can’t do anything! I type in my password and the d*** thing won’t take it!”

    Coworker: “Okay, I’ll reset your password.”

    (I reset the password and leave it blank, as usual).

    Coworker: “All right, I’ve reset your password. Go ahead and try to log in now.”

    Customer: “What should I use for a password?”

    Coworker: “No password.”

    Customer: “Is there a space in that or is it all one word?”

    Time To Close The Door On This One

    | WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in the IT Department for another company. Most of the support we do is over the phone but we occasionally have people drop their computer in for repair. My desk is next to a window which gives a clear view of the office parking lot from the first floor.)

    Me: “IT Helpdesk. [My Name] speaking.”

    Customer: “Hi, I need to drop my laptop off to be fixed. Can you come down and get it? I’m in the parking lot.”

    Me: “Sure thing. I’m a bit busy right now but if you just leave it at reception, I’ll come down and grab it later.”

    Customer: “Okay. How do I get into the building?”

    (At this point I look out the window. I can see the customer on his phone standing in the parking lot. Directly behind him is the entrance to the building, with our company name on a sign above it.)

    Me: “Through the front door?”

    You Can See Where This Is Going

    | Toronto, ON, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A big part of my job involves helping users log on to the company website.)

    Me: “Remember, the new password that you create must contain at least one letter and at least one number.”

    Customer: *becoming irate* “What? One number? How am I supposed to remember that?”

    Me: “I would suggest just choosing a word and then putting the number one at the end of it.”

    Customer: “I’m never going to remember that! Can I use two numbers?”

    Me: “Yes, as long as you have at least one number.”

    Customer: “But, wait just a minute. I have another question. Can I use three numbers?”

    Me: “…yes.”

    Following Blind Orders

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in internal computer support. One afternoon I get a call from an older gentleman.)

    Me: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Make the information available. Do it.”

    Me: “What information do you need?”

    Caller: “Just do it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”

    Caller: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”

    Me: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”

    Caller: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up*

    Page 1/9012345...Last