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    I’ve Been Mugged

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (There are a number of customers in the store, including a younger woman and older woman who are looking at many of the same things. I see the older woman take a mug from the younger woman and bring it to the counter with a few other items.)

    Me: “These mugs are great! Did you find everything today?”

    Older Woman: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: “That’ll be [price]. Would you like anything else today? A cup to go?”

    Older Woman: “No, thank you.”

    (She pays and leaves the store. I think it’s a bit odd that she didn’t wait for the younger woman. The younger woman comes to the counter, with a different mug, some tea and some more gift items.)

    Me: “Hey! I really do love these mugs! Great choice. Did you find everything okay today?”

    Younger Woman: “Well, no. I wanted the green mug but that woman grabbed it out of my hands…”

    Me: “Oh, my god! I thought you guys were together and she was buying it for you! I’m so sorry. I should’ve said something!”

    Younger Woman: “Yeah; I was pretty stunned. I didn’t know what to say.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. Here the mug’s on us today since she took the last one in that design.”

    Younger Woman: “Oh! Thank you.”

    (I felt so bad, but we definitely don’t have training on what to do about customer to customer theft!)

    Your Logic Is Fishy

    | Indiana, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a farmer’s market. One customer is a Thursday regular who always buys single teabags.)

    Customer: “I am looking for a good green tea.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I certainly have a large selection—”

    Customer: *holding up a Sushi Bar Green Tea* “Oh my lord, this doesn’t have real sushi in it, does it?”

    Me: “What? Oh! No. That just means it is like the green tea found at sushi bars.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! For a minute there, I thought it was raw fish flavored!”

    A State Of Mindlessness, Part 3

    | Montana, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)

    Customer: “Hey, you.”

    Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you understand me?”

    Me: “Why, yes, I do.”

    Customer: *sighs* “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”

    Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in Europe.”

    Customer: “Liar! Just so you know, I went to college and I know d*** well where this state is!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You b****! You ‘re a stupid hick who thinks she knows everything! I know d*** well where this state is!”

    Me: “I’m quite certain Montana is located in the northwest corner of the USA.”

    Customer: “Ugh! Make me teach the brainless rednecks! It’s not in the northwest, you dumb f***! It’s in the south, by the country Idaho!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (The customer rolls her eyes and storms out of the store.)

    Related:
    A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2
    A State Of Mindlessness

    Managers Are Used To Spot Checks

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    (Our tea shop closes at 9pm. The time is currently 9:10. There is one couple and their child still in the store. I am cleaning the bathroom. The customer opens the bathroom door.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m cleaning this bathroom.”

    Customer: “But my son has to go.”

    Me: “I’m using bleach, it’s very dangerous here. I can’t let you use the bathroom.”

    Customer: “But my son has to go!”

    Me: “I can’t let you use it. We’re already closed and I have to finish cleaning.”

    Customer: *to another employee* “Your crazy cleaning lady won’t let my son use the bathroom. Can I speak to your manager?”

    Co-worker: “That was the manager.”

    (The customer silently grabs his wife and son and walks out without another word.)

    Back Tea The Basics

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “For a quick cup of tea, this is a simple infuser to use.”

    Customer: “Infuser? What’s that mean?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just another word for something that you use to steep tea in hot water.”

    Customer: “What’s that mean?”

    Me: “Steep? It’s just another word for brewing.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “It means ‘make tea’.”

    Customer: “Oooooh!”