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    Misadventures In Time And Space

    , | MN, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “[Taxi call center], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh my goodness. I need a cab right now!”

    Me: “Alright, we’ll try and work fast as we can for you. What is the address we’re picking you up from?”

    Customer: “1234 Smith Ave.”

    Me: “That address is not showing up in our system. Is there a direction on Smith Ave? North, south, east or west?”

    Customer: “I think it’s 1234 Smith Ave. Or it could be John St.”

    Me: “Alright. If you’re not sure of the address, is there someone there you can ask, please?”

    Customer: “Oh, this is my place.”

    Me: “You don’t know your address? Do you receive mail at your home? Could you look at the address on that for me?”

    Customer: “Hold on. Oh! It’s 1234 North Smith Ave!”

    Me: “Okay, that went into the system just fine. We’ll try and get a cab over to you as soon as possible.”

    Customer: “Oh dear. What time is it?”

    Me: “It’s about 9:15.”

    Customer: “Oh no! In the morning?”

    Me: “No, it’s 9:15pm…at night.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! I didn’t miss my appointment. I need a cab for the morning! I’ll call back then! Thank you! Bye!” *click*

    Fairly Foolish Fares

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    (It’s 4 AM and I’m driving a college-aged girl home.)

    Passenger: “Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Passenger: “You know the ducks in Central Park?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Passenger: “Where do they go for the winter? When the lake freezes.”

    Me: “I think they fly south.”

    Passenger: “Really?”

    Me: “To Florida, I think.”

    Passenger: “That’s so weird. Are you Jewish?”

    Me: “I’m Italian, actually.”

    Passenger: “You sound really Jewish.”

    Me: “Well, I’m from Long Island. Maybe it’s my accent.”

    Passenger: “Can I ask you a personal question?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Passenger: “Are people born in 1987 the lost generation?”

    Me: “Um…”

    (The entire cab ride was like this.)

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