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    Cannot Be Tailored To His Demands

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Money

    (I own a tailor shop. I typically ask customers if one week service is okay with them. This is because I am all alone here and need the time. Most are fine with it but some need things sooner. This is okay provided I have time available on whatever day. However, if they want it same day or next day, there is an upcharge since I have to stop anything else I am doing and let them jump the queue. My permanent special is on regular jean hems since they are the fastest hem to do. A customer walks in with two pairs of pants with fancy stitching on the hems and a bit of intentional distressing of the fabric.)

    Customer: “I want to get these both hemmed, but do you do the kind of hem where I get to keep this look at the bottom?”

    Me: “A European style hem? Yes, I do those.”

    (I take his information and measurements for the receipt and enter the jobs into the computer.)

    Me: “Now, is next Saturday okay for you?”

    Customer: *eyes bulge out of his face* “That long?! Really?”

    Me: “It is just what I like to ask for. I might be able to get them done sooner, though. What day would you like them done?”

    Customer: “Well, I am going to Vancouver on Tuesday, so…”

    Me: “If you aren’t leaving until later on Tuesday, I can have them ready for 9:30 pickup or, if you are willing to pay the urgent fee, I can have them ready tomorrow. I am closed Sunday and Monday.”

    Customer: *sounding impatient* “How much?”

    Me: *looking at the computer* “[Amount] for Tuesday or [amount +$10] for tomorrow.”

    Customer: *eyes stick out even more* “HOW MUCH?! But I came here because your sign outside says two for [amount which is half of the Tuesday price I quoted], and that is why I came here! That is false advertising!”

    Me: “I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but that price is for our basic hem, which is where I cut the pant and sew a new hem. It takes one machine and is an easy hem. It has an absolute turn around time of one week which is why it is a special price. The hem you want is more of a ‘deluxe’ hem and takes all three of my machines and more time, plus you want it sooner than one week.”

    Customer: “I don’t see why you need a week! You just need to cut it and sew! It would take a few seconds!”

    Me: “Regular hems don’t take long, but you don’t want that kind. Euros take longer, but not that long. The issue is that there are many people ahead of you and their work comes first. That is why if you want to skip the line, you have to pay a little extra.”

    Customer: *looking very disgruntled* “Well, the place in the mall will do it for [30% less than my regular euro price] AND they gave me a 10% off card to use!”

    Me: *knowing for a fact that the place in the mall charges a little less than twice what I do and doesn’t do a good job at all* “Well, that sounds like an excellent deal, sir. You’d better get there before they close, then. I am sorry I couldn’t help you today. Let me just get the pins out of these pants for you.” *does so* “Sorry again, but have a great weekend!”

    (The customer grabbed his jeans and left, still grumbling.)

    Happy Birthday Two You

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am working a shift on my birthday. An elderly customer that I recognize comes in without any items to have altered; I assume she is picking up an order.)

    Me: “Good afternoon Mrs. [name]! What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to come in to tell you what a lovely job you did on my pants last week, and to give you this!”

    (She ‘ninjas’ a bag out of her purse, and places it on my counter. It is a little bag of gourmet chocolate squares!)

    Me: “For me? Really?”

    Customer: “Yes! You were so nice to me, and I thought it would be nice to give you a treat!”

    Me: “Well, that was really nice of you! Wow! These are even all the flavors I like! It is my birthday today, so thank you for the present!”

    Customer: “It is? It is my birthday today, too! How about that! Happy birthday!”

    Me: “Happy birthday to you, too!”

    Customer: “Well, goodbye! I will see you again sometime!”

    Me: “Have a great afternoon, and I hope so! Bye!”

    Height Insight

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (A customer is getting a suit jacket fitted. She is rather short.)

    Me: “Okay, may I have your height?”

    Customer: “Height? What’s that?”

    Me: “How tall are you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes…height. Of course. I think I’m, like, 5’12″?”

    Me: “Okay, so about six foot?”

    Customer: “No, 5’12″. Didn’t I just say that?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. 5 feet 12 inches would be the same as six foot.”

    Customer: “Well, they’ve changed it since last I checked.”