Acting Bittersweet About The Sweets

| Serbia | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I was working as a promoter for a [Popular Brand] inside a supermarket telling people that they can buy certain items within the brand for a certain amount of money and then receive a gift at the front. I explain this to one woman.)

Customer: “Do dark chocolates count?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly do.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware of that; I worked in a different store last week, but I assure you, you will receive your gift if you buy the dark chocolates.”

(The woman was still suspicious, so I showed her the list of products that I had in my hand.)

Customer: “What about the one for cooking?”

Me: “Yes, that one counts as well.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week!””

Me: “Again, I know nothing about that.”

(I show her my list again.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It’s around [price], but if you look over there, just a couple of meters away, you’ll see the exact price.”

Customer: “How do you not know the price? You work here.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t work in the supermarket. I don’t even work for [Popular Brand]. I work for a marketing agency that was hired by the brand. I work in different stores every week and the prices vary.”

Customer: “You know, I’m older and, therefore, wiser, so I’ll forgive you this time, but there are all sorts of idiots out there that are going to make a fuss about something as trivial as this. I would advise you to try and do your job a little better next time. But it’s okay.”

(She kissed me on the cheek, smiled a fake smile, and walked away without the chocolates.)

Sexy Money

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Money, Rude & Risque

(The Swedish word for the number six is ‘sex.’ The cashier is just about to charge an elderly couple for their groceries.)

Cashier: “That’s 106 kronor.”

(The old man hands him a 100 kronor bill.)

Cashier: “I need six kronor more.”

Old Man: *to cashier* “What did you say?”

Old Woman: “He said he wanted sex.”

Cashier: *getting red but trying to smile* “Six kronor more.”

Old Man: “What?”

Old Woman: *loudly* “He said he wants sex!”

(Both the queue behind them and the queue for the other register go silent and stare.)

Cashier: *loudly* “Kronor!”

Old Man: *loudly* “Speak up woman!”

Old Woman: *almost screaming* “THE CASHIER WANTS SEX FROM YOU!”

Cashier: *screaming* “SIX KRONOR!”

They Are Tea-Total

| Hobart, TAS, Australia | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these two boxes of tea.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Did you just change your mind?”

Customer: “No. Actually, I sent my daughter to the store to get some tea, meaning something for dinner, and she returned with this drinking tea. I don’t actually need it.”

Stick To Your Guns And Don’t Make The Sale

| San Diego, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(About 15 years ago I worked in a very popular super retail store that had a sporting goods section that had just stopped selling guns and only sold pellet rifles and paintball guns.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to buy a gun.”

Me: “Well, we don’t have any guns anymore. We do have pellet rifles. What did you want it for?”

Customer: “Oh, um, there’s a coyote that has been getting into my yard and I wanted to get rid of it.”

Me: “Hmm… Well, a pellet rifle might scare it off so it won’t come back?”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it’s really for my neighbor’s dog.”

Me: “I see… Well, I don’t think I can help with that.”

Customer: “Actually, it’s for my neighbor.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “He’s a jerk.”

An Off-Color Purchase

| Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

Me: “What do you typically like?”

Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

(I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”

Page 7/50First...56789...Last